'Tis The Season...

As I sit here and type this by the warmth of the fire and with Christmas lights shining on, there is no doubt that I am blessed. I try to live a life of gratitude everyday, but this time of year offers many shocking reminders of just how blessed you and I are.

With the ostentatious nature of the consumerism that so many of us fall into at this time of year, I find it more important than ever to remember those who are less fortunate and unable to partake in the kind of holiday season that they would like to. I am guilty as charged. I am a consumer at this time of year. I cannot imagine not being in a position to give my children the kind of Christmas that all children deserve. Perhaps this is why I fall victim to the consumerism this time of year. I do try to balance the gifts we give our kids equally with merry experiences also, it can be challenging not to over do the presents and beautifully wrapped gifts under the tree.

This year along with several friends and different families, we are sponsoring a few local families that are on hard times. It brings home that sense of community and brings to life the true meaning of Christmas. It is hard to think of our own neighbours in need, but the reality is that it is a neighbour in need and it could just as easily be ourselves one day. There are great teachable moments in lending an anonymous hand to those who need it. Our children are listening and watching, learning that this is how a healthy community functions, and that you give what you can, when you need to.

Today we took our children on the Bright Lights Christmas Train at Stanley Park. The Silver Fox and I surprised the kids and they were delighted by the gorgeous displays of lights and holiday cheer. They were innocently unaware of the huge expense that came along with that experience, but we work hard to afford such luxuries for our family. The heart wrenching part comes when you realize what we spent on that experience could have fed a family at Christmas. This is where the fine balance enters the picture. Where you realize that you do what you can for others with what you have and sacrifice where you need to and still be able to afford such sacred experiences with your own family.

So we took the kids to the train and we skipped the sushi dinner out afterwards. It was our compromise. The money we would have spent on the Sushi dinner for four, we instead have set aside to donate to the North Shore Family Services. It was another great lesson for our kids, and a way to teach them how you can be a good neighbour and live your life in a brilliant way.

We are fortunate in that between the Silver Fox and I  we both know how it feels to have enough and to need. It makes giving that much easier, especially at this time of year. For myself, growing up with a feeling of need sometimes, it has helped me to realize one of the greatest lessons of my life, which is that the gift is always in the giving. My favorite part of Christmas is giving. I love knowing and feeling the joy that someone else is experiencing. I love that.

Recently, a group of people, some I know and some I do not, have come together for 31 days of random acts of kindness. As I have said, I try to live a life of gratitude daily and random acts of kindness plays a big part in that, but to come together with others to spread joy and love like this with the intention of sharing them and inspiring one another, it takes it to another level where the acts become more sought after and deliberate.

I won't go into the acts of random kindness that we have done, given and achieved, that is not as important as the invitation for you to join us. Start tomorrow. It is as easy as giving someone the parking spot you are both after, or letting that elderly person behind you in line, go first. It can also be as grand as giving to the food bank or buying a meal for a person who appears to be in need. You can decide, but I encourage you to join us and for no other reason than it feels good and because you can.

They always say Tis the season... to be jolly? I think not. I think it Tis the season to reach out and give someone the gift of your cheer and generosity at what can be a challenging time of year for so many of us. I know many of us are generous all year long. We give to charities, we ride for cancer, we put ourselves in harms way for the greater good of another... again, all things we do for the greater good, but this Christmas, lets go that extra mile in honour of humanity and the beauty that lies in the loving of another.

Love & Light and a very Merry Christmas. As this is Hanukkah's first night, Happy Hanukkah!

xo t.

Nothing Stays The Same

Before I even launch into writing what I really want to say, I need to acknowledge that this darn blogger site has somehow changed a setting that allows breaks between my paragraphs. When I am composing my post I use paragraphs and they do appear on my draft but once I publish they disappear. Forgive me- I am still trying to resolve it. I am constantly trying to create balance in my day to day life. Aren't we all? There are times when the challenge is greater than my ability to manifest it. These are the moments when I usually allow for myself to engage a little bit of auto pilot. What I mean by that is that I have come to expect certain people in my life to participate and behave a certain way. I know ideally we should expect nothing from anyone ever in life; however, when someone has been in your life for several years or decades even, you innately choreograph a certain dance that you engage in. We all represent a certain 'role' in one another's lives. The complication in this scenario is when we do not allow for the acknowledgment that we are constantly evolving and morphing into who we are meant to be. It is difficult to look at someone one you have known for your entire adult life and to see them with fresh eyes, especially when who you see is not who you remember them to be. There are always allowances we give to our nearest and dearest friends. When friend 'X' is always late, you think to yourself 'Ah, well she has been late for all of our lunch dates since we were 21, that's just her.' Well, my recent revelation is that I am no longer okay with these 'allowances'. My attitude now is that we are nearly 40 now, get a watch. It's one thing to be chronically late and it's another to disrespect someone else's time. Let me say, I do not have an issue with any of my friends being chronically late, it is just a great example. Recently, 'Princess' was in the heart of the Christchurch earthquake. If you have followed my blog you know that she is more like a sister to me than anything else. Needless to say, having her there was heart wrenching for all of us who love her. Luckily, by the time I knew of the situation there had already been word that she and 'The Aunty' were fine. Traumatized, but physically unharmed. My heart continues to go out to those who live in and have lost in New Zealand and to all of those who love them. I feel selfish to even say it considering I was not involved in the quake, but it was life changing to be here and helpless while 'Princess' was there. When you face the thought of losing someone so close to you, you naturally reevaluate your life's meaning and those within it. Hence the fact that I am now looking at all of my relationships and viewing them with fresh eyes. Life and time is so precious and so fleeting. What behaviors are no longer feeding my spirit? Which ones are draining my limited supply of energy and time? It can be difficult to face the reality of who your beloveds are vs. who you thought they still were. That said, check yourself while you are at it. I experienced a huge revelation in this regard a few years ago. There was one girl who had been in the peripheral of my social circle. We used to have this repetitive courtship where we would try to engage in a friendly way but it always ended in drama. She blames me, I held her accountable and it just was not becoming for either of us. It was after I read 'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle that I realized that we were both feeding off the drama of it all. We both subconsciously knew that the other would engage in the drama and we learned to expect it from one another. It was a humbling experience to realize that I was equally responsible for this childish, exhausting behaviour that I had always given her credit for. It was amazing to realize that we were playing roles. We had created this dance of drama that we learned to count on the other one to engage with us in. Since then I have freed her and myself from any contact. It's just better that way. We really don't have to be friends with everybody. We really only need to be polite and gracious. Amen! It is okay even to not like someone, that's right! I said it! I said it! Wish them well and see yah! A friend sent me the link I have attached to this blog post. It speaks to this very subject and I love the way it is written. I encourage you to take a look at it. It really makes you think. Life is short. Make sure the people who you are giving your love to are mirroring it back to you. We are all busy, we all have lives and responsibilities there is never an excuse to take friendships for granted, nor should we. We risk the chance of being 'reevaluated'. On that note, go call your 'nears and dears' and tell them how much you love them! Love & Light, t.