Windows are open. The fall air is crisp and the sun illuminates the room. Is there anything better than basking in a morning like this? Complete with a big warm sweater and a cup of coffee. Sitting back down to the keyboard I am slightly overwhelmed by thought of everything I have experienced since my last entry. We returned from a magical week in Kauai only to head off again to Alaska as a family... and I mean the whole family. The Silver Fox's parents took both of their boys and their families as well as each of the grandparents sisters on a cruise. A very beautiful and thoughtful gesture, never mind generous... but more than anything... it was a great big life lesson! (I'll come back to that later)
We returned from Alaska just days before the start of the school year which saw us sending our baby girl to grade 1. (insert sigh and heavy heart) I have said it several times since the beginning of September that it is such an injustice that just as our children become these capable, amazing friends to us, that someone else gets the pleasure of enjoying their company all day long. I clearly remember holding Miss. B when she was 3 months old while she was wailing and I was tired and at my wits end- thinking to myself "it's okay Tiff- 5 yrs and you will have a bit of your old life and freedom back!" The joke is on me. And it is a cruel joke... I don't want my old life back and the only freedom I pine for now is that to be able to spend everyday with my 6 yr old beauty. Again, all of 'those women' who told me to savour every single moment with my children because they grow up so fast, were not exaggerating.
The silver lining to losing out on spending the days with my girl is that I finally have some one on one time with my boy. Precious time that I am savouring like I have never savoured anything else. I know better this time around. Every question and every discovery are moments that we dive into and daydream our way through. I love every second of it. (except for those moments that I feel like I want to rip my hair out and ask him to be quiet... yah- besides those moments, I love every second of it!) lol
After the start of school- I found myself at one of my favorite places to be,
at Camp Kerry. www.campkerry.org
This year like the others I was humbled, honoured and inspired by the love and courage that is the foundation of CK. The families, the volunteers and of course my roommates for the weekend, Hol, Carrie, Coryn and the mice created a haven for healing. It was truly special. Each night after a big day of giving- the four of us (my roomies and I) would return to our bunkhouse and debrief. I could tell you that we didn't mock the over zealous lifeguards or that we didn't pass around wine gums and pringles... but that would be untruthful. What I can say is that these women are the most compassionate and giving people I have met and Camp Kerry is lucky to know there dedication and hard work. When I return from CK and I am back at home with my family, I always seem to hold them a bit closer and appreciate them even more.
When I referred to the lessons learned on the cruise, well, where to begin. Oh, I know, having the entire family on a boat for week. There is a good start! I kid, it really was a fantastic trip and fun was had by all. The issues arose when certain people realized or didn't realize that they had placed expectations on other people's agendas. I think some of our crew thought that having us all on a boat would imply that we would be spending a great deal of time together. Indeed we did spend more time together than we would have otherwise but location does not dictate nap times and meal times. When a three year old is 'done' they are d.o.n.e.- period. I believe that one forgets how fully surrendered you must be in terms of going with the flow when children are in the equation. Not only did my sis-in-law and I get all dressed up for more than one formal dinner, only to have to remain in our cabins sans joining the family for the meal- in order to put the needs of children first. Yah- a drag for sure, but truly not a big deal in the grand scheme of life right. Well, that's only right if you are able to go with the flow.... a tall order for some that created a downward ripple of disappointment which was unfortunate. The moral of the story is when you put expectations on other people and have those expectations being met account for your own happiness, you are bound to find yourself in self inflicted disappointment and unease. It was a loud reminder to me that I am in control of my own happiness and in each moment of everyday we can choose to be happy. Every morning is a fresh start, a clean slate and a blessing. That is what September is to me. A clean slate. A fresh start. When most of the world considers January 1st a new year, I consider September 1st as my new year.
I am so excited about the next month. I am going to be knee deep in glitter and gemstones. I am crazy busy making jewelry for Holiday Home Shows and for Retail. I love this time of year. I am already excited about decorating for Christmas. The day after Remembrance Day I get to start decking the halls!! If you lived in a log house you would feel the same way. This home begs to be swagged and bobbled. It warms my heart just thinking of it. Is it just me or can anyone else hear Bing Cosby?
The next month is going to be full of goodness. I am going to try to keep my expectations on myself and find compassion for those who are still learning to make that effort.
I am off now to go find a pile of leaves to play in with my boy!
Happy Autumn. I know she will be good to us all.
Love & Light,
t.
