Do you ever find yourself in a moment when it seems like 6 months has passed and you have barely surfaced to breathe?
Life just gets so busy, so routined that before you realize it several months have passed and you are in an entirely different place since the last time you ‘checked in’ with yourself.
I had that moment today. I was chatting with my daughter who is not quite ten years old yet, and I had to stop our conversation, look at her, and then look again. At some point in the past year she has solidly arrived as a pre-teen. Her thoughts and her contribution to our discussion
were far beyond the capability and credit I had been giving her. Her wisdom and depth were thoughtful and thought provoking. At some point when I wasn’t looking she has transformed into this incredible person, and less the child that I thought I was still speaking to, rather than with.
After the conversation I had with ‘B’, I went directly to my husband to share my experience and so that he could help me to help me process the revelation I had just had and to try to fathom the ramifications of this newly discovered person I had stumbled upon. The range of emotions were vast.
I felt cheated. I felt cheated that the little girl I have loved, adored and raised, had exited without any pomp or circumstance, and this new young adult had arrived in her place with nothing more than a chance unveiling. I felt elated that this new found person was articulate, wise and thoughtful, yet, I was stricken with fear that the chapter as a parent I have spent the past decade cultivating was now done. There is a belief that who your children are by the age of 5 years old is whothey will ultimately be. The jokesters will be the jokers, the princesses will be the princesses, the serious ones will remain serious and so on…
Well, judging by my experience today and upon further reflection, I can see truth in that theory. I am delighted by my handy work and who ‘B’ has become, but I still thought that I had more time. I thought I had more time to polish and buff, to ignite and nourish, but today I learned somewhere
along the last few lines, the chapter has changed, and I never even noticed.
I suppose that is the biggest misconception we humans invest in, that we have more time. The truth is that our time is up. Our time is now. What we think we will have time for, make time for, or what we will enjoy later, is actually never going to manifest. The truth, our truth, is that if we do not stay present and make what we want apart of our ‘now’, it will likely not see the light of day, or worse, it will happen and we will not even notice, until the joy of the experience is but a reflected on memory.
We have all heard the elderly tell us to take the time we need to listen more to the young and the old, as that is where the world’s wisdom lies. I believe this now more than ever. Of course, I cannot get the past decade back, but I can listen and be more present with each day that arrives. Having turned forty years old several months ago, I have found a place where I do enjoy listening more, speaking less and just watching. I watch what people say vs. what their actions say.
I listen to my intuition more, and I have learned to disregard fear more than ever before. I have been actively trying to live more and fear less, but what I have ignored is the need for balance.
Today I learned that I have been so preoccupied with listening and watching the bigger picture, that I have overlooked the daily lessons and learnings that are happening right in front of me. I learned that no, I don’t have time to do ‘things’ later, and that I now have a new role in this next chapter of parenting. I am excited and anxious about the new task at hand, but I am ready, and I have two beautiful little spirits to discover this new journey with and a loving and supportive partner
to share the learning curve with. I have learned that I need to balance ‘now’ with the bigger picture.
So what is next? Well, we will all be putting down the electronics a bit more often. We will interrupt each other a little less, and we will create more time for one another a lot more often. We will fumble and fall. We will help each other up and we laugh while we do it all. Will it always be delightful, no, but that is real life. Not every day is going to be rainbows and butterflies, it will be challenging and filled with compromise. The one thing I can say for sure, is that we will do it together as a family.
I invite you to take a long, hard look at all of the relationships in your life. Do you need to take a new snapshot of who those people are and what they mean to you?
Do those relationships still nurture you, and do you still nurture them? Is it time to reevaluate the purpose of yourself or others in those relationships? Is it time to let go, dig in or give more appreciation where some is lacking?
Today I learned life truly is short. If we are not actively taking inventory in our day to day life, it will not call you in, rather, it will pass you by…
love & light,
t.
Life just gets so busy, so routined that before you realize it several months have passed and you are in an entirely different place since the last time you ‘checked in’ with yourself.
I had that moment today. I was chatting with my daughter who is not quite ten years old yet, and I had to stop our conversation, look at her, and then look again. At some point in the past year she has solidly arrived as a pre-teen. Her thoughts and her contribution to our discussion
were far beyond the capability and credit I had been giving her. Her wisdom and depth were thoughtful and thought provoking. At some point when I wasn’t looking she has transformed into this incredible person, and less the child that I thought I was still speaking to, rather than with.
After the conversation I had with ‘B’, I went directly to my husband to share my experience and so that he could help me to help me process the revelation I had just had and to try to fathom the ramifications of this newly discovered person I had stumbled upon. The range of emotions were vast.
I felt cheated. I felt cheated that the little girl I have loved, adored and raised, had exited without any pomp or circumstance, and this new young adult had arrived in her place with nothing more than a chance unveiling. I felt elated that this new found person was articulate, wise and thoughtful, yet, I was stricken with fear that the chapter as a parent I have spent the past decade cultivating was now done. There is a belief that who your children are by the age of 5 years old is whothey will ultimately be. The jokesters will be the jokers, the princesses will be the princesses, the serious ones will remain serious and so on…
Well, judging by my experience today and upon further reflection, I can see truth in that theory. I am delighted by my handy work and who ‘B’ has become, but I still thought that I had more time. I thought I had more time to polish and buff, to ignite and nourish, but today I learned somewhere
along the last few lines, the chapter has changed, and I never even noticed.
I suppose that is the biggest misconception we humans invest in, that we have more time. The truth is that our time is up. Our time is now. What we think we will have time for, make time for, or what we will enjoy later, is actually never going to manifest. The truth, our truth, is that if we do not stay present and make what we want apart of our ‘now’, it will likely not see the light of day, or worse, it will happen and we will not even notice, until the joy of the experience is but a reflected on memory.
We have all heard the elderly tell us to take the time we need to listen more to the young and the old, as that is where the world’s wisdom lies. I believe this now more than ever. Of course, I cannot get the past decade back, but I can listen and be more present with each day that arrives. Having turned forty years old several months ago, I have found a place where I do enjoy listening more, speaking less and just watching. I watch what people say vs. what their actions say.
I listen to my intuition more, and I have learned to disregard fear more than ever before. I have been actively trying to live more and fear less, but what I have ignored is the need for balance.
Today I learned that I have been so preoccupied with listening and watching the bigger picture, that I have overlooked the daily lessons and learnings that are happening right in front of me. I learned that no, I don’t have time to do ‘things’ later, and that I now have a new role in this next chapter of parenting. I am excited and anxious about the new task at hand, but I am ready, and I have two beautiful little spirits to discover this new journey with and a loving and supportive partner
to share the learning curve with. I have learned that I need to balance ‘now’ with the bigger picture.
So what is next? Well, we will all be putting down the electronics a bit more often. We will interrupt each other a little less, and we will create more time for one another a lot more often. We will fumble and fall. We will help each other up and we laugh while we do it all. Will it always be delightful, no, but that is real life. Not every day is going to be rainbows and butterflies, it will be challenging and filled with compromise. The one thing I can say for sure, is that we will do it together as a family.
I invite you to take a long, hard look at all of the relationships in your life. Do you need to take a new snapshot of who those people are and what they mean to you?
Do those relationships still nurture you, and do you still nurture them? Is it time to reevaluate the purpose of yourself or others in those relationships? Is it time to let go, dig in or give more appreciation where some is lacking?
Today I learned life truly is short. If we are not actively taking inventory in our day to day life, it will not call you in, rather, it will pass you by…
love & light,
t.
