Curious Times...

It has been a good month since I last checked in. I have been working constantly preparing for many of the events I have committed to. I have learned a great deal about myself and my business in the past few months. In the midst of the Oscars hype I received many invitations and offers to participate and attend many events and fundraisers. At the the time I was eager to optimize the momentum I was gaining which has resulted in an incredibly busy schedule and very little balance in my day to day. These are the growing pains of success and I am learning... < br/> Beyond pearls and crystals, the last few months have been absolutely fascinating to me. Like most people, in the life that I have live I have met many people and many of them have impacted my life greatly, in unique ways. With the constant transition that followed my later teens and early twenties it became difficult to maintain connection with those people, never mind have any sense of good bye or closure with most of them. As a result it has left me with years of wondering where those specific people have landed? What has their journey looked like? Who are they now? Are they happy? Those who know me know that I live through my heart and once I care for you, I always care unless of course their is some sinister reason not to. < br/> Well, in the past few months almost all of those people that I have been wondering about have surfaced. It is absolutely cosmic and absolutely mind blowing the timing... everyone just started to bubble up to the surface at the same time. What is more exciting is that they are all doing well and are all living lives that are inspiring and fulfilling. What more could you ask for your friends, past and present? < br/> I have recently heard from everyone from my first boyfriend to my first dance instructor when I was 11 and many others in between. It is so rewarding to reminisce about what life was then and what it is today and to hear how the past 2o, 15, 10 years have treated us. Who we were and how are journeys have led us to who we are meant to be is a best selling book waiting to be published. The stories are heart wrenching, heart warming and remarkable. We never stop evolving and the experiences we need to endure and enjoy never stop coming, this is why I love running into people ever few years, I love watching the transformation. < br/> Transformation and freedom have proven to be the theme of this year so far. My business has exploded in away that was beyond the dream I had dreamt for it. The friends of yesteryear have caught up with me so that the time I used to spend wondering is no longer a factor and that has given me a comfort and given my heart a freedom that I can't explain. < br/> My inner circle of friends have all found individual happiness and bliss. This is the first time ever that my team of beloveds are all blissing out at the same time which also frees my heart from the burden my heart feels when someone I love so much is struggling. My own little family is gelling in a way that we have not ever before. When your children reach a certain age there is another freedom that arrives, and with it comes the allowance for The Silver Fox and I to reunite in away that was suspended when you have children who need you more than you actually 'need' each other. We have finally arrived at a place where we can enjoy the luxury of needing each other again. The Fox and I have made some heavy hearted decisions that will require a few sacrifices, but will allow our family to spend more time together and to enjoy the simple and most rewarding of life's pleasures... quality time together. I am relieved and ecstatic by all of the above. For the first time ever I feel like I have arrived. < br/> < br/> Disclaimer: < br/> With all of the bliss and gratitude I am also feeling overwhelmed by this place I have arrived to. I fully understand how I got here and that this was my goal destination. I am a person that needs a goal. I need to be driven by excitement. I have also arrived for the first time ever to a place where I see myself clearly as a single being. That must sound crazy to many, but my bff's know that I attach myself to those I love. I have enjoyed being apart of my loved ones lives in ways where sometimes I can get too close. In all of my relationships I have tended to see myself as part of the other person and I have felt a responsibility to partake and maintain the happiness of all parties. I don't know when it happened but I woke up one day and for the first time ever I detected my own aura per se, as being separate than anyone elses. It was a surreal experience and slightly startling until I realized how freeing it felt. I am my own person and I have my own right to be myself and to do what is right for my own singular spirit. That said, I don't know how differently I will live my life, ;) but the realization was exhilarating and long, long over due. < br/> Although I know and understand that I am responsible for my own happiness, I have just really realized at a cellular that is the only happiness I can control. Of course my children are under my wing and I will always advocate for them but I will invest as much time teaching them how to create their own bliss. In the last few weeks I have been finding new ways to nurture my own spirit and it is refreshing to be an individual and to have something that is just mine, just for me with the freedom and energy to do so. The Silver Fox has been a great model of self preservation over the years. He knows what feeds his spirit and he nurtures himself in kayaking, skiing, and running with regularity and always something he prefers to do alone. Those are the things that he does solo that are just for him. I have always felt the need to surround myself with many people when I am enjoying me time. The shift for me is that I am not looking to include maybe one other person instead of 5 and I am learning to appreciate the quiet of solace. My mind no longer fears the quiet and I am sure that is largely to do with my TM practice. Again, it is just another freedom I am enjoying. < br/> I have to encourage everyone to find another new way to nurture yourself. Go do something just for yourself that makes you feel alive and free. There is a rush to feeling that organic vitality that you can only find when you are living your authentic self's purpose. < br/> < br/> < br/> Love & Light, t.