August 20th – Will
forever be ‘Gord Downie Day’ to me.
3:17am
In a few short hours, our nation
will gather. We will celebrate, reminisce and simultaneously mourn the reason
why we have come together.
Gord, geez, buddy, I am just not
ready to say good-bye. I know, I have said it before and I say it again, on
behalf of all of the Gen X’ers across our country, you have provided our voice,
the soundtrack of our lives. Now, on this momentous day we are expected to
somehow let you leave the stage for the very last time. How can ‘we’, a nation
of truly adoring friends allow you to do that without first being able to say
our deepest, heartfelt thank yous to you? That is a lot to ask. Just sayin’.
For many of us, I am sure, you
having to leave the stage is going to be first the ‘exit’ of a friend that some
of us have ever had to deal with before. There is no preparing for ‘exit stage
left’. As I sit here and write to you I wonder from our perspective, how is
going to be for us at the end of this final set. I try to imagine how we are
supposed to carry on knowing that the last note you sing to us will be the very
last one. The truth is I feel shame in the wondering. Here, for months, many of
us have been focussed on what this province by province, good bye has felt like
for us. I am sorry Gord, it’s selfish, I know.
With this I will say my final
good bye. Thank you for cryptically writing my life’s story. Thank you for
sharing it with the world and I. Thank you for delivering it in away that took
me out of the picture and allowed me to be a momentary voyeur. You have provided
me space at times when the world was closing in, with your lyrics and
harmonies. I owe you one for that. I
love you, man. You are the real deal and I will forever be grateful for knowing
you through your art and creative process.
Thank you. A million times, thank you.
Now, I write to you the reader,
the fan, the equally, tragically hip person reading this. Aren’t we all tragic
in someway? Isn’t that the real tie that really binds us? Gord gave us all
value. He said to all of us,
“Hey, listen…we are all the same. We are just
here and you are just there, and we are all just fumbling through this journey,
trying to leave as small of a disaster in our wake. You’re good. You’re cool.
You got this.”
Gord made us seem like our ‘shit
shows’ weren’t ‘shit shows’, that in fact we have all been treading the same
water, waiting for those moments of thriving to reveal themselves, one star at
a time. That is what makes Gord, all of our best friend. He normalized moments
that made us feel like outsiders. He was the first voice to ever say that
different was good. Think about that for a second…
So, while we are gathering and
trying to fathom how to let this great man leave the Grand Stage, one last
time, I invite you to join me in ceasing to be so selfish. We get to watch this
concert tonight. We get to watch it with our friends and family. We get to go
home tonight, rest our heads down and wake up tomorrow to a new day and new
chances and choices for our future with our friends and family. I would
consider that to be a pretty sweet way to end the day.
Today, all day, Gord is faced
with the knowing that he is about to hit the stage for us. This whole tour has
been for us. In the face of certain death, rather than spending this time with
his children, he gave these past two months to us, a massive gift at the
expense of his precious time with his children. That speaks volumes of how
deeply he understands our own grief. Amazing…
So, tonight, after Gord leaves
it all on stage for us, he gets to go back stage with his best friends, his
band mates and he gets to let it sink in that that was it. Truly, that was the
last time they would live the dream that they have so masterfully manifested
for themselves. There will not be another encore. There will never be the
crowds of adoring fans chanting, “Hip! Hip! Hip! Hip!” The Curtain has been
called.
Back Gord will go to his place.
Not his home, it is up for sale. Not to his family in the sense that you may
think. He will go wherever it is he goes tonight. He will rest his head and he
will feel a loss like none of us can imagine. We lose him, yes. We all are
losing Gord, but damn, he is losing ALL of US. He is losing a nation! How does
one comprehend that? Can you? Do You? How can one human feel to lose millions
of friends all at once? Think about that…
I invite you to sing along,
enjoy the show tonight. I know it will be epic. I also invite you to remember
what Gord must be seeing from his two eyes tonight. Imagine what he will be
hearing as the crowds and country serenade him with his own words. Will that
nurture his spirit the way it nurtures ours? Will it convey the love and
appreciation that we have for him? We can only hope.
With that I leave you. I am
never one for goodbyes. My dearest friends know me and know that I don’t do
goodbyes. I sneak off when no one is looking. I text them once I am home and
thank them for a wonderful time. Good byes have never felt good to me, and quite
frankly I have endured too many. As for Gord, I refuse to say good bye, rather,
I am going to sneak off, and hope that he knows the gratitude I have and that
the love he’s given is coming back to him tenfold.
That is how this journey between
Gord and I will end… it won’t. I am going to go stage right and he will go
stage left, and hopefully, one day, we will meet back stage, wherever that may
be.
Tragically yours,
t.
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