Happy Mother’s Day?

With Mother’s Day only a couple of days away, there are advertisements, commercials and reminders that prompt us to give thanks for our amazing mothers. I am always happy for the
people out there that are blessed to have mother’s worthy of thanks; however, what about the rest of us who cringe at the sentiment, who aren’t as fortunate?

There is an unsung community of us who are motherless children.
Whether it is because of dysfunctional and abusive childhoods that carried through until we left home, or because of toxic relationships, there is a subculture of adults who do not have the privilege of enjoying
happy memories of our mother’s love and tender care. Many of us don’t even know what tender care from a maternal figure would feel like. Perhaps it was just never to be? Is it possible that some of us were never meant to know that particular brand of love?

Prior to having my own children, I would dread Mother’s Day. I would avoid going out in public. I would not engage in media of any sort. I simply did not want or need to see the fairytale that would
never be mine. Whether it is all a facade or not, watching people celebrating this matriarch who represented love, protection and unconditional love, was all too heavy for my heart, which carried this specific weight all year long regardless.

You would think at a certain point or age it would get easier or less painful to live without having a mother to turn to, to trade recipes with or to get pedicures with. The truth is, it never gets easier. The older you get the more you realize how important family is and how important having a mother is or would be.

Once having my own children, I was horrified to know how my mother was able to mistreat me and how foreign that concept is to me, especially after experiencing the love that I have for my own children. I could never bestow that kind of reckless abuse upon anyone, never mind my own innocent children.

When I was pregnant with my first child I longed to have a healthy, vibrant, peaceful mother who would share in my pregnancy journey. When my child arrived, I yearned to have a mother to help guide me through the early days. More than anything though, I wanted to have a grandmother to dote upon my child, a grandmother to offer my children who would love and adore them, like I do. Was I to assume that It was not meant to be?

One day after having my second child I had this amazing epiphany. I realized that having my own children had gifted me the opportunity to reparent myself, byway of parenting my children in a way that I knew they deserved.
I didn’t know how to be a great parent, except to parent in a way I wished I had been parented. By loving my children so fully and completely, I have brought the maternal love I’ve always needed and craved, into my life. I have personally benefited from simply and innately loving my own children. It was not by design but rather, as a result of the copious amounts of love that I effortlessly bestow upon my children.

My children have been incredible gifts to me, to my life. I never knew though how they would heal my heart and free it from the weight of wanting.

Now, when people wish me a Happy Mother’s Day, I finally feel the blessing in the statement because I am no longer reminded of my motherless self, rather, I organically think about the maternal love that fills my life and my home. It doesn’t matter that it is a love that I have created. What matters and what I choose to focus on is that it is a true love that envelops my family, and that is where the blessing lives. My family has a matriarch. My family is showered in this love every single day. 

This year and every year going forward it will be a Happy Mother’s Day, because I now know a maternal love worth celebrating.

Happy Mother’s Day? Absolutely!


love & light,

t.

The Gratitude Process

There is not a day go by that we as humans, do not want for something. It is often a minor thing, like a hot cup of Chai. Yet, at times it can be something that would prove to be life changing. Normally, depending on the magnitude of the want, we either attend the craving by obtaining whatever it was that we wanted; however, the larger ‘wants’ seem to go unsatiated and we go on wishing for something to come or way or to happen for us.

Many people believe in positive visualization or they believe that somethings are just not attainable for them in this lifetime. There are a multitude of reasons why people settle for going without what they want. Often times, we feel that the dream is too big or that we are somehow undeserving. There are those that truly believe that they are just not ‘lucky’ enough to get what they want.

The truth is this; there is no luck. I love the Oprah quote,  “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.” I didn’t quite understand the quote at first. It took me a few weeks of processing and relating the quote to my personal experience before I was able to fully appreciate the logic. It goes without saying if you want to be a chef, you need to do the ground work and educate yourself on cooking. I get that. What took me time to grasp was how that logic applied to me.

I know plenty of people who honestly seem to have an easier ride in this life, than most. They ‘seem’ to have things and opportunities arrive at their door, seeking them out, instead of the other way around. I remember the day I sat down with one of those people and I basically interviewed them on how they managed to live and create what I can only label as a ‘charmed life.’ The answer I was given changed my life from that day forward. I took their words and advice and added some wisdom that I already had and I have employed them together, ever since. Have I lived a ‘charmed life’ as a result? Not necessarily. Do I feel that my well is full and that I am living a life that I adore and appreciate? Absolutely!

I refer to this process as the “Gratitude Process’:

There is no safe guarded secret or ancient recipe that I was given, rather, I was given a set of tools which serve me well. Do I always attract what I hope to? Not always and not exactly, but what I do attract is what is best for me and my journey at that point in my life. There is a great saying…”Thank goodness for unanswered prayers!” Sometimes what we think we want is not what will best serve our better good, and it turns out in the long run that we are grateful that what we prayed for did not find us.

The first piece of sage advice I was given was to remember that life is not perfect. Not everything will always look like we had hoped; however, if we stay true to the course, it is usually revealed that we received exactly what we needed at that time. We need to remember to go with the flow and to not get hung up on the plans we had made, rather, appreciate what we have at any given time.

The second tool that is absolutely essential to acknowledge is that if you are thinking it, you are feeding it energy, and that is where the beginning and ending of most everything starts… in your thoughts. For example, if you want a new bike, you need to start utilizing positive visualization. You need to imagine yourself at the store purchasing the bike you want. Then you need to imagine riding ‘your’ bike. Imagine how it feels under you. Picture yourself putting it away after a great ride. You truly need to experience having it in your mind.

Once you have accepted that although you wanted a blue bike, you just may have to settle with a red one. Once you have experienced the ‘feeling’ of owning it you then need to talk about it. Discuss with your friends your intentions of owning this bike. Tell them how you intend on paying for it, where your first ride is going to be and how excited you are about having it. Really by discussing it out loud, you are verbalizing it to the universe that you want this ‘thing’. You need to remember, that if you do not set your clear intention and let the universe know, how will the universe provide for you?

A major key to this powerful equation is that you need to be full of gratitude for what you do have. You cannot be hung up on not having this item that you want for. You need to first make peace with what you have has served you well and that if this other ‘want’ does not come to fruition, that you are equally at peace with that. By letting it go before you even have it is such an important part of obtaining what you want. If you were to get obsessed with the want, it will become a negative experience for you and you will end up surrounded by your own negative energy which will not only repel what you ‘want’ but also the people around you.

Finally, you need to go after what you want. You need to seek out whatever it is that you need to achieve in order to have the wanted thing. You need to do the preparation in order to be in a good place to receive the thing when it comes along. Preparation meets Opportunity. Be prepared. What I find incredibly beautiful about this step, is that half the time, you have done the preparation without even knowing it or you completed it years ago without giving it any thought how it would benefit you in your future!

So to recap; you want to accept that what you wish for may look different than what you think you want. You need to positively visualize and imagine what it will be like to have the think that you are after. You need to share your intentions with the universe so that the universe can help to provide you with what would be of service to you and finally you need to be absolutely grateful and humble for what you do have and you must accept that perhaps the thing you think you want, may not be in line with what is best for you at this time in your life. Once you have completed your preparation, you are ready to receive. That may sound like many steps, but I cannot explain to you, how easy this process is or how often it has worked for me personally.

To give you an idea of what I am talking about, here is a recent example of how ‘the process’ has served me.

Besides owning my own jewelry design company, I have otherwise been out of the work force for exactly 10 years. A whole decade has passed and I have not been on anyone else’s payroll, except my own. Ten years is a long time to be out of the work force. Things have changed in my previous field of work. I have spent that past decade having children and nurturing them into the school system where they are presently flourishing. I, on the other hand have been craving to wet my feet again and rejoin the work force in some capacity. I have been toying with the idea for about a year now.

Six months ago, I spoke about my intention to seek some sort of employment for the first time. Since then I have inquired a few times about a few different jobs but at the end of the day, their needs did not match up to my availability. I have school aged children. I need to be there to drop them off at school and there to pick them up after school. There are stat holidays, easter and spring breaks, and then of course the two months off each summer where they of course are 100% my priority. I kept thinking to myself that I would love to find a part time job, but I was very doubtful about someone hiring me with my limited availability.  Then of course there was is my need for financial benefit. Unless I feel like I am making decent money, why would I work somewhere part time? It would make no fiscal sense.

Fast forward to one month ago. I was sitting on my deck, designing jewelry when I remembered my ‘Gratitude Process’. I felt like kicking myself for taking so long to remember how important it is to me and how well it has served me over the years. I immediately put down what I was doing. I pulled out my yoga mat. I went through some poses and began to meditate. I focussed on the perfect job. I decided in that moment that I wanted to be someone’s ‘girl friday’, a professional assistant, an executive assistant with a strong personal assistant gear. I began to imagine how valuable I could be to the right person. I focussed on what I could do for someone, rather than what they could do for me. I considered the multifaceted nature of my experience and skill set and I imagined how beneficial that could be to someone. I made the decision right there that I was going to approach two different people that I knew and pitch them my offer to work for them. Both individuals I knew well and respected. I had also decided that I needed to know the person I was going to work for because I knew I only wanted to invest my time, energy and love into someone that I could sincerely care for. The first person I approached took no time to shut me down. They simply did not have the room on their payroll for anyone else at this point. So, I went to the second person on my list and they were gracious to hear me out. They were thoughtful while I pitched my idea and they actually were intrigued and agreed that at some point in the near future they would call on me and we could set up an arrangement. A month later and I had heard nothing from them. I took that as a time to let go and let the universe provide me if and when this ‘want’ was going to be in my best interest.

I had let the idea go last Saturday, and on this past Thursday is when I saw one of my friend’s twitter feeds. She was advertising that she needed a part time Executive Assistant who could also cross over into a little personal assistant work. I could not believe my eyes. There it was! Someone I knew, liked and respected, needing exactly what I want to do in the capacity in which I was available to do it. I applied right then and there. I heard from her the next day. We arranged to go for a walk to discuss the position and both of our different sets of needs. Today was the day we walked. I found her needs were within my realm of knowledge and my needs which were mostly about the time I needed to be with my children. On every count that I was concerned was going to put a wedge between me and this job, it actually was a none issue and in fact worked well with this person’s schedule. I could not believe my ears. The more this amazing women spoke about what her hopes were for the position the more excited I became. Right there in front of me was the person and the job I had been visualizing. Once again the ‘Gratitude Process’ worked. Again, it did not come to fruition in the way I had planned or in the timing I had originally wanted, but it arrived in it’s own divine timing.

As it turned out, I was one of a dozen different applicants, and I was told that I was one of a couple that were actually in the running for the job. Both the other applicants and I had a different set of skills, and what I thought was going to be hurting my cause actually helped me to get the job. My age… Forty years old and out of the work force for ten years… instead of seeing me as out of the work force, it was seen as ready for a challenge after a good rest. My age was seen as a mature and responsible person. The time off I needed was also time off that my new employer also needs. Money was not an issue and I feel fabulous and appreciated by my new salary.

You simply never know what is around the corner waiting for you. You never know how you or what you think are issues, will actually be perceived. Here I had this great
process and I spent 6 months forgetting about it. Then I allowed negative chat to enter my head which worked against me for another 6 months. Not until I remembered to value myself and all that I bring to the table, was the universe able to provide for me. Half of the experience that makes me valuable to this position are tools and experience I gained between 10 & 15 years ago. I was preparing for this job without even knowing it.

I cannot help but wonder what this new job will be preparing me for. I don’t know. What I do know is that I am excited to step out into this new chapter of my journey.
I can hardly wait for tomorrow to get here so that I can jump in with two feet and begin to hopefully inspire and to be inspired.

I encourage and invite you to give some thought to the process you evoke when you want something. Does it work for you? Do you have an ‘attitude of gratitude’?
Do you think that perhaps you have room in your repertoire to try out the ‘Gratitude Process’? I promise you that life feels lighter and brighter when you are thankful for what you have, where you are and who you are with.

Namaste,

Tiffany

ThanksLiving.

As you know, I love autumn. I love everything about it. I especially love Thanksgiving. It seems to me that we all slow down and take a sort of personal inventory of the blessings in our lives. We stop to be grateful for so much of what we often take for granted.

Life is so precious and fragile. Everyday we hear stories on the news that should remind us how blessed we are, but somehow the insulation of the bubble that many of us live in, protects us from realizing how close to home these heart wrenching stories, actually are.

This Thanksgiving, one of my children was seriously ill. It took away my ability to be grateful for my family's health. It made me stop and look around and to really notice that other than my family and friends and the beautiful life my husband and I have manifested, nothing else matters when you have an ill loved one.

Today marks the 8 year anniversary of my husband's best friend's passing. Not a day goes by that we do not think of him, talk about him, or benefit from having him in our lives. Having had a such an amazing person in our lives was such a gift. He taught us, and everyone around him how to live in the present moment. He taught us how to live life to the fullest and to not make apologies for being true to ourselves. Randy was the epitome of an adventurer. He was such a good person and he had such a love for life. It breaks my heart to this day that cancer took him away at such a young age.

Although saying good bye to loved ones, and I have said good bye to a few very dear loved ones in the  past decade... I must say, I am so grateful for having known them and for having them in my life for the short time that we shared together. At this time of year, I am always brought back to the questions - Am I thankful enough? Am I grateful enough? Am I using my life to the fullest? Am I wasting any time, talent or opportunities? I ask myself these questions at this time of year because I am faced with the fact that in order to be truly grateful, I must use the gifts and blessings in my life to their fullest, in order to be as grateful as possible.

I recently saw something that read: "Thanksgiving is a holiday, ThanksLiving is a way of life." I must say that this quote has really resonated with me. It is a beautiful reminder that living in gratitude is the easiest way to live life without taking the little things for granted. I do try to live mindfully; however, being human allows me to get caught up in the mundane and I sometimes lose sight that without gratitude, no other blessings will find me. It is just a belief that I carry.

ThanksLiving, gives us the gift of the feeling we experience around Thanksgiving, all year long. I do not think that we can ever be too grateful or too appreciative of the many, many blessings that surround us. Most of the people I know, need for not. They love, and they are loved. After health and home, there really isn't much else to be grateful for, nothing else really matters.

Wishing you all the blessings that come with a ThanksLiving attitude.

love & light,
t.

Our Miracle Happened.

I write with huge joy in my heart. This week, after seven months of waiting for my nephew to be strong enough, he underwent his double lung surgery to find out how many different 'spots' were in his lungs.

It has not been an easy journey for Sean. Cancer isn't an easy journey for anyone, but in Sean's case there have been a great deal of little set backs along the way. After his leg surgery where they were forced to take a part of his leg, he was plagued by a severe infection that made it impossible for the doctors to go through with his lung surgery as planned at the time. This darn lung surgery has been pushed back since September. September! There have been weeks where the medical team could not follow through with his Sean's scheduled course of Chemo due to Sean's low blood counts. There were days when the reality of his situation was just too much for one young man to swallow.

As I look back at the several set backs, it obviously makes me very sad. That said, as I look back at this week, I am filled with joy and am elated to share our many little victories that we have been waiting for since June when Sean was first diagnosed.

This week the doctors were finally able to go in and remove the 'nodules' in Sean's lungs. We were calling them nodules, because we were hopeful that the last 6 months of Chemo had worked and that those spots were no longer cancer, rather unspecified nodules. Our prayers were answered.

After a very long, 8 hour surgery, Sean came out of the operation with flying colours. The team of doctors that were involved were all equally ecstatic with how the surgery went and how Sean faired through the surgery. We were all relieved and gave thanks to God for the outcome that we had all prayed for.

The night after the surgery there were some critical complications, but thanks to the team of doctors and nurses in the ICU, Sean pulled through and he is better than we could have hoped for!

It was just the other day that we got the results of the biopsied nodules from the lungs. The results came back that the nodules were 100% CANCER FREE. Cancer free. Cancer free. It just means so much to me to say that. The cancer spots on Sean's lungs were dried up from the Chemo. The only concern that the doctors had initially, was that they found 3 additional spots that they were unaware of and were not necessarily looking for. None of that matters now because they were all benign.

So what does all of this mean? Where do we go from here? Well, it means that all of the aggressive medical intervention has worked. We were unable to save his knee, but whatever it takes to save his life, all makes it worth it. It means that we have 6 more months of Chemo to kill the existing cycle of cancer cells that continue to reside in Sean's system.

Sean is winning! Where we were being prepared for a grim picture 6 months ago, now we are faced with the beautiful future that awaits Sean. It is because of all your prayers that Sean is alive and well. Several times over the past 6 months, all we had was hope and prayer. We had to rely on blind faith and the prayers of everyone, family, friends, & strangers across the globe.

Whatever it was, or wasn't. Whether it was the semi precious stones we laid across Sean's body in hopes that their energies would cleanse his weak body. Whether it was the hands of prayer we laid on Sean's leg or whether it was Country singer Paul Brandt who went to visit Sean and raised his spirits and energy... whatever, so far it has worked.

I am not naive. I know we have a long road ahead of us and that we are not out of the woods yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. We can feel that overwhelming grace that comes with what it is we are experiencing. We are grateful.

Please continue to pray for Sean's full recovery. We are more than half way there and we are so grateful to all of you have been with us along the way.

God is great. Miracles do happen. We have Sean to prove it!

love & light,
t.

Thank You 2012

Being up the Sunshine Coast here, resting in our family’s cabin, it is easy to forget the hectic schedule that December delivers. Here, from a cozy chair I can gaze out the window and watch boats sail by, eagles soar and I am easily enveloped by the tranquility that this sacred place offers .

Sharing this peaceful time with my family,  including my husband’s parents has been a beautiful reprieve. It is lovely to hunker down and just be. The children are in their element. There is no place that they love more, or people that they adore more, so being up here has been the perfect medicine for all of us.

My in-laws left today and were only here for a quick overnighter. So it returns as it is each year at this time, there are just the four of us and our dogs up here to say good bye to the year and to welcome in the new one. It gives me great joy to spend this quiet time reflecting on the year and revisiting the lessons and blessings while sending out thoughtful intentions out for the new year.

I usually write out some goals and revisit past ones and do an inventory of the successes and do some reconsidering of the ones that did not come to fruition and then giving a good hard look at why that might be and what lessons came from it. Half the time the lessons of the failures were the whole point rather than the completion of the goal. Besides, you can always have a retry at the goals that were unfulfilled, at least I believe so.

2012 was quite the year. I think that if you read my blog, you know of my blessings and lessons so I need not go into detail here. It’s safe to say that it was a big year of

great things, and of great extremes.  Our family saw great adventure and greater adversity in the way of ailing health and wellness. Please keep my family in your prayers as we head into 2013.

If I were to sum up 2012 I would have to focus on Faith. This year I found that I turned to faith in a bigger way than I ever have before. That will happen to you when someone you love’s health is in jeopardy. You will turn to faith to keep you in the light when the shadows come calling.

I have always enjoyed having that solid belief system in something bigger than me. After several years of losing people that I loved very much, I turned from my faith and began to question all things related. I have always been a spiritual person. But in the face of great loss, and great questions surrounding the why that comes along with it, I have paid little attention to the God in things. I have focused on the light and love more and ignored the source you could say. Losing so many important people in such a small period of time was just too much pain, and I had a hard time believing that there was a God that would orchestrate such darkness. And then with the arrival of my nephew’s illness, I had no where else to turn but to God. The doctors do not have all of the answers and the ones that they do have are not serving my nephew’s health in the way that we need right now.

People always balk at the word God. I am not talking about Jesus or the other prophets that make many people cringe, I am talking about the life source in the world. There are so many questions I have regarding God, but what I do know, is that I have spent dozens of hours praying for my young nephew this year and each time I have finished, I have honestly felt better. There is something to be said for that.

I have high hopes for 2013. I have a long list of hopes and dreams that I plan on meeting along the road to fruition. First and foremost, a cure for my precious nephew and for all those out there fighting for their lives. I have a wish to see my beautiful children grow strong and healthy and to prosper in all they do. I hope that my husband continues to feel loved and to find solace in his work and play. I want my friends and family to love and be loved, to find fortune of heart and spirit where ever they go and to find the peace in spirit as I have this year.

I want to continue to live a generous life where I put others before myself and I want to be a role model to my children that no matter what happens to you in any given day, your happiness is directly linked to your attitude. With a positive attitude and a healthy outlook, anything is possible and nothing is quite that bad.

In 2013 I want to continue 2012’s theme of simplifying. I want to simplify on a grand scale of small things. Everything from the linen closet to the circle of people I share my life with. I want to just bring everything to a cleaner more user friendly state of being that supports a healthy and happy existence for my immediate family and myself and that will further solidify the amazing foundation I have built with my nearest and dearest, including those whom I wish to build one with.

2013 promises to bring many blessings, but this year I don’t have a long wish list of gifts I want to ask of her, I just want more of the same and I want to need less of it.

I feel that I have been so blessed, that I just want to have a quiet, low maintenance year where I find all of my gifts are in the giving. A place and a way of life I have come to have deep appreciation for.

Being up here at the cabin and away from our daily routine, I am offered a clarity that I would not otherwise have. At home there is always a chore list, jewelry to make, friends to call back, where up here, the world stops and the quiet moves in.

There is a stillness here that allows you to catch up with your inner voice and to really stop and listen to what the universe has put in front of you.

Since I have been up here, the word that keeps coming to mind in my head is gratitude. I am just so grateful for a blessed year of life long memories and lessons that will re-gift them selves to me for as long as I live. I have beloved friends and family that make me feel loved and appreciated and I have you, a crew of people that somehow find some value in hearing about my journey through this crazy life.

Thank you for continuing to read my blog, and I continue to hope that you find a small piece that speaks to your heart and that somehow inspires you. I hope that there is a little piece of me that resonates with you and that makes you feel heard, understood or at the very least that there is a kindred spirit out there that is learning some of the same lessons as you.

From my heart to yours,

Happy New Year.

love & light,

t.

Warmest Winter Wishes

This time of year, while being mighty cold and darker than what I prefer, also brings one of my favorite times of year. Christmas. That's right, I said it! I said it!
C h R i S t M a S...

Let me be clear... Christmas to me is about Santa and Snowflakes and less about religion and consumerism. I love decorating my home ( which I do on November 12th fyi- I pay my respects on November 11th first), I host ornament exchanges, winter teas, xmas parties... I even bake. I love opening my home in all of it's holiday beauty and sharing the bounty of love and light that has been entrusted to me through out the year.

The spirit of the season really is not lost on me. I wait all year to celebrate the magic of believing. Believing in Santa, believing in the spirit that takes over those in a position to reach out and help those in need, believing in the promise that January is yet another fresh start and a chance to get 'it' right one more time. I believe that there is more gratitude at this time of year than at any other. On the heels of Thanksgiving which is also a favorite holiday of mine, which rolls into Remembrance Day and then extends a welcome to winter, all of these events create a warm light of gratitude that just continues to grow and give life to the spirit which to me is the peace that is created by and is Christmas.

I regularly extend light and love in my greetings to people. Some people get it, most don't. Most think of it as an airy fairy token of my spiritual side, but what it actually is, is an extension of my wish of love and peace. We all have spiritual beliefs of some sort, and for some that means no belief at all. We all have a way of thinking of the universe and of where we fit into it. I believe that white light is the greatest gift of healing energy. That is why I send it to people whenever possible. Whatever you need healed in your life, body, spirit, relationships, whatever, I hope that people receive the light and allow the healing to envelope them. I extend my sincere love to people because first and foremost I am a lover and not a fighter and I believe that love is where we all begin and end. I want everyone who crosses my path and I do mean everyone,d to feel love every single day. I am sadly aware that many people go without love on a daily basis and I try to extend what I can.

The spirit of Christmas is in the love and light that I extend, and what I find the most beautiful is that I know that I am not alone. If you are reading this, then I believe that you also share your own light and love in the way that you know how. We all come to this earth with different gifts and generosities. I suppose what I am trying to get at is that it is this time of year that many of us really are able to share this love and light and have it received more easily.

I am well aware that the holidays are very difficult for many, many people. Emotions run high and can present very raw. The holidays for many bring up difficult memories and emotion that are only compounded by this time of year. To those people I find a great deal of compassion for and I try especially hard to share in the goodness of the season. It is not always well received so I try to respectfully allow them to stay where they are at, but I continue to celebrate in a way that is not as outwardly obvious when I am around them. The last thing I would ever want to do is to hurt someone further with my joy.

As we head into the last stretch before Christmas, I am eager with the full on excitement of a 5 & 8 yr old. I can't wait to have my house full of people that I love and want to know better. I can't wait to hang my stockings on the chimney. I can't wait to share what I have with those around me.

I always find the gift is in the giving, and I always find that more people give at this time of year, when others really need it the most. I find that the love and light that I love so much is gifted and received by those who normally reserve these gifts for their chosen few.

My wish for you, is that while the season gains on us, and the world begins to spin faster and our time is feeling lessened, and our chores seem to multiply, that you remember to slow down and feel the joy in the air. I hope that if you experience any sadness at this time of year, that you become open to allowing more joy to take over those spots of sadness and that you allow yourself to welcome the joy that is in the air to take over your spirit and offer you the levity that is light and love to encompass you.

Warmest Winter Wishes,

love & light,

t.

The Power of Prayer

By now you have come to realize that my family's life has stopped in it's tracks and that the mundane rhythm that propels our daily lives no longer matters. What matters is that we have a young, inspiring young member of our clan in the hospital fighting for his life.

Recently, my sister and I made the 1000 km journey through the beautiful and majestic mountains to go and spend several days with our nephew. While we naively made the trek towards him, we somehow thought that we had prepared ourselves for what we were about to encounter. Let me tell you this with all certainty... nothing could or will ever prepare you for spending long days on a children's oncology unit.

We had told ourselves that we were going in with love guns blazing ready to spread love and light in every corner of our family and that entire children's ward. When we arrived into the city after a 12 hour drive, we headed straight for the Children's Hospital. We arrived just before 8pm and the hospital had clearly wound down for the night. The halls were sparse and there was a serenity about the place. It was a little bit of an out of body experience walking toward our nephew's room. I couldn't wait to get in there and wrap my arms around him, all the while, I wanted to be anywhere for any other reason than walking down that hall toward room #1160.

When we got to the room, there Sean was. Sitting up and open arms, happy to greet his aunties. We had a brief visit as he was tired and the chemo treatment of the day had really socked it to him. Both my sister and I shared some love, let Sean show us the care package that Terry Fox's sister had personally sent to him and then we were on our way back to where my brother was staying.

The next day we had an early breakfast and headed back to the hospital. Mind blowing. The difference between the day and night within those walls, really was that... day and night. This time upon our arrival, the halls were buzzing. People coming and going. Children with tubes and drips and their entourage of care givers. There were people that were just bringing their children in for the first time and sadly, heart wrenching as it is, their were parents that were leaving the hospital for the last time, without their beloved children. My sister and I are extremely close and have a bit of a sixth sense with each other... we walked into the hospital, looked at each other and nodded. We knew that we had to suck it up and bring love and much needed levity to our sweet family.

I could go on an tell you how we spent each day distracting Sean and our brother and his family with rounds of crib and other games and stories told, but really it was my sister and I who were distracted.
We learned more about composure and grace from this 14 year old nephew of ours than anyone else could have ever taught us. His courage and strength was overwhelming and his knowledge of his course of treatment was astounding. He schooled us in the ins and outs of his therapy in a way that only further solidified his status of hero in our books.

My brother and his wife taught us about coping in the face of fear and the unknown. They definately have their own unique ways of dealing with this blow that has been dealt to them but they also have a strong united front in the face of this putrid disease called cancer.

Our other nephew Quinn, he taught us that it was okay to laugh and be comical when your family is in crisis. Not only did he laugh but he brought us all to tears constantly by way of his awesome and completely hysterical comedic self. It was clear to see that comedy is his coping mechanism and really it is his gift to all of us. Laughter heals. It's just that simple.

The nurses, the friends that visited the calls that came in,  all of it, everyone made such a difference in this journey. You never know how a simple phone call can change the entire course of someone's day. Or in this case, someone's journey through treatment.

What I also found incredibly interesting was how many of my brother and his wife's close friends were sort of staying away. Whether it is because they are just so sad or not sure what to say, let me say this loud and clear, when someone you know is in crisis, you do not need to know what to say. It is okay to just show up and say hello and that you just wanted to be with them. That is enough. Just your presence is the gift. It broke my heart that not more of their besties were showing up for them in their time of need. My brother, the nicest man on the planet, explains it that they are just waiting their turn to show up when it is the right time... I say show up people, it's okay to come and cry with us.

If you ever need a reminder how precious life is, spend a day at a Children's Hospital. There are a million reasons why we are blessed, but somehow seeing sick kids just puts everything into perspective real quick.

As it stands now, we really need your prayers. Please pray that my nephew Sean is healed of his cancer and that his entire body is returned to the simple mass of white light he came into this world as. We are counting on a miracle. Please be apart of that miracle through the power of prayer.

Please Pray.

love & light,

t.

My Heart Is Bursting with Gratitude.

Over the past few years I have considered myself to have seen small successes in my business. I have never really stopped to add them up before, but recently, after a conversation with a friend regarding this new adventure I have found myself on, we began discussing the different stepping stones that have brought me to this place.

Some of the donations I have made to different organization are the connections I most proud of. Supporting the likes of Lions Gate Hospital Foundation, Canuck Place, B.C. Cancer Agency, The Terry Fox Foundation, Collingwood School Foundation, Camp Kerry- Family Bereavement Camp and a few other programs that benefit children in the arts, these are the kind of associations I have found the most rewarding.

My girlfriend 'The Guru' who knows of my other successes made a good point, that indeed those are very worthy connections to mention, but so are the other less known about ones. Let me say this; I am very proud of everyone who dons one of my creations. I put so much heart and soul into each piece that I love to know that people are receiving the blessings that I put into my art. I truly do say a little blessing on the stones and pearls I string together. I have a had cynic once ask me, " So, you are telling me you bless, e v e r y stone you use?". My answer is yes. Sometimes I take them all in my hands before I begin stringing them together- and I just hold them with a quiet mind and wish the wearer peace, to feel beautiful and find happiness each time the put this jewelry on. There are times that I actually string a necklace like a rosary and put a sweet thought into each one. I just believe everyone has a platform to do something to spread joy into the world. My girl Oprah has a massive platform. She can open up girls schools in Africa, I can bestow blessings into pearls and hope that the wearer benefits in that way. We all can do something and this is one of the ways I do my part.

Back to the small successes that 'The Guru' feels I should share. Well, the fact is that I have been blessed to have worked closely with a wide range of celebrities over the years. I will mention a few of the ones that I know have donned my original designs. When Goldie Hawn was living here in Vancouver, I had the pleasure to get to know her on a personal level. By far, by a long, long stretch she is my favorite celebrity. Why, you ask? Because she has no pretense about who she is and the industry she belongs too. There is no fluff around her. She is a spiritual guru in her own right and she is a poster girl for spreading light and love into the world. Yes, I found great pleasure in seeing her in something that came from my heart. Sarah Michelle Geller not only has worn my jewelry but she has also purchased it for her friends. Singer/ song writers Jane Siberry and Jody Quine both have one of my creations. It is worth mentioning that my designs have been worn in the t.v. series ' Sanctuary' & 'Men in Trees' and on the the big screen with 'The Twilight Saga'. So there is a taste of some of my other successes you may not have known about.

Everyday there is a new twist of excitment. Thank you for allowing me to share it with you.

love & light,

t.