The Power of Prayer

By now you have come to realize that my family's life has stopped in it's tracks and that the mundane rhythm that propels our daily lives no longer matters. What matters is that we have a young, inspiring young member of our clan in the hospital fighting for his life.

Recently, my sister and I made the 1000 km journey through the beautiful and majestic mountains to go and spend several days with our nephew. While we naively made the trek towards him, we somehow thought that we had prepared ourselves for what we were about to encounter. Let me tell you this with all certainty... nothing could or will ever prepare you for spending long days on a children's oncology unit.

We had told ourselves that we were going in with love guns blazing ready to spread love and light in every corner of our family and that entire children's ward. When we arrived into the city after a 12 hour drive, we headed straight for the Children's Hospital. We arrived just before 8pm and the hospital had clearly wound down for the night. The halls were sparse and there was a serenity about the place. It was a little bit of an out of body experience walking toward our nephew's room. I couldn't wait to get in there and wrap my arms around him, all the while, I wanted to be anywhere for any other reason than walking down that hall toward room #1160.

When we got to the room, there Sean was. Sitting up and open arms, happy to greet his aunties. We had a brief visit as he was tired and the chemo treatment of the day had really socked it to him. Both my sister and I shared some love, let Sean show us the care package that Terry Fox's sister had personally sent to him and then we were on our way back to where my brother was staying.

The next day we had an early breakfast and headed back to the hospital. Mind blowing. The difference between the day and night within those walls, really was that... day and night. This time upon our arrival, the halls were buzzing. People coming and going. Children with tubes and drips and their entourage of care givers. There were people that were just bringing their children in for the first time and sadly, heart wrenching as it is, their were parents that were leaving the hospital for the last time, without their beloved children. My sister and I are extremely close and have a bit of a sixth sense with each other... we walked into the hospital, looked at each other and nodded. We knew that we had to suck it up and bring love and much needed levity to our sweet family.

I could go on an tell you how we spent each day distracting Sean and our brother and his family with rounds of crib and other games and stories told, but really it was my sister and I who were distracted.
We learned more about composure and grace from this 14 year old nephew of ours than anyone else could have ever taught us. His courage and strength was overwhelming and his knowledge of his course of treatment was astounding. He schooled us in the ins and outs of his therapy in a way that only further solidified his status of hero in our books.

My brother and his wife taught us about coping in the face of fear and the unknown. They definately have their own unique ways of dealing with this blow that has been dealt to them but they also have a strong united front in the face of this putrid disease called cancer.

Our other nephew Quinn, he taught us that it was okay to laugh and be comical when your family is in crisis. Not only did he laugh but he brought us all to tears constantly by way of his awesome and completely hysterical comedic self. It was clear to see that comedy is his coping mechanism and really it is his gift to all of us. Laughter heals. It's just that simple.

The nurses, the friends that visited the calls that came in,  all of it, everyone made such a difference in this journey. You never know how a simple phone call can change the entire course of someone's day. Or in this case, someone's journey through treatment.

What I also found incredibly interesting was how many of my brother and his wife's close friends were sort of staying away. Whether it is because they are just so sad or not sure what to say, let me say this loud and clear, when someone you know is in crisis, you do not need to know what to say. It is okay to just show up and say hello and that you just wanted to be with them. That is enough. Just your presence is the gift. It broke my heart that not more of their besties were showing up for them in their time of need. My brother, the nicest man on the planet, explains it that they are just waiting their turn to show up when it is the right time... I say show up people, it's okay to come and cry with us.

If you ever need a reminder how precious life is, spend a day at a Children's Hospital. There are a million reasons why we are blessed, but somehow seeing sick kids just puts everything into perspective real quick.

As it stands now, we really need your prayers. Please pray that my nephew Sean is healed of his cancer and that his entire body is returned to the simple mass of white light he came into this world as. We are counting on a miracle. Please be apart of that miracle through the power of prayer.

Please Pray.

love & light,

t.

Winter Solstice

Soon the Winter Solstice will arrive and with it the return of brighter, longer days in time for the end 2011. I wish there were words to convey all that learned in this year. Very possibly the most heartbreaking and breathtaking year of my life. So many highs, so many lows and everything in between. Meeting new friends and loving old friends, and then having to let go of both of them... oh, the lessons. Life lessons come in all shapes and sizes and within their own time lines. I wish I could reach out and change part of the landscape of this year, while in the same breath I fully understand that we should also be grateful for unanswered prayers. If I had sum up what this year has meant to me, it would be that a massive chapter in my life has come to an end while a new one has been revealed. We all have the peaks and valleys that create our life's story and it fascinates me to no end to be present and in the moment while it all unfolds. There have been so many amazing people that have taught me so much this year. Watching loved ones achieve their dreams. Whether it has been having children, landing their dream job or simply finding it within themselves to live, take and own their lives and to allow themselves to grow into their 'best selves'. I have a lot to learn from them and I honour those friends for being so courageous. This year I have faced some truths about myself and I am proud to stand up, stand tall and to admit to myself my flaws. It must have something to do with growing up and realizing all of the ways I am still evolving. I can also own that I have done some amazing things too. Firstly and foremost, I have surrounded myself with amazing people. I am proud of my circle of loved ones and what they have taught me, how they have supported me and loved me every step of the way this year. I owe a deeply humble debt of gratitude to all of them. I realize that this is a far more personal blog entry than I usually post. I normally write about the jewelry business at some point, but today I wanted to acknowledge my friends. From Halifax to Vancouver Island and right here in my own home. I want to say thank you for your wisdom. Thank you for sharing your love and compassion and I hope you have been able to find some nurturing in our friendship also. Life has become more than ever about the dance of intimacy in my friendships. The trust, the lessons, the vulnerability that comes with being open and honest. Whether it be in our moments of triumph or in those moments where our ugly bits surface. It is all about the fancy foot work that creates a forgiving flow in our closest relationships. Thank you for loving me through all of the above. With 2012 fast approaching, I want to extend a warm winter wish to each of you reading this. My wish for your new year is that you allow yourself to be cared for. So often we are the caregivers. I hope that you find it in yourself to be cared for. Whether it is a friend who offers you a heartfelt compliment or a stranger that offers to buy you a coffee... accept it. What goes around comes around and you have love and light coming your way. Allow yourself to give the gift of giving to someone else. This has been my greatest lesson this year and it has taught me more about myself than anything else in my lifetime. It has been an amazing journey this year. Thank you for being apart of it. Thank you for being your beautiful self. Gratitude. It is where I will be in 2012. Love, Tiffany

What Goes Up, Must Come Down

Approaching August has brought a whole lot of learning and understanding. While many of you who follow my blog know, I spent much of the beginning of 2011 riding a super high while preparing for the 2o11 Academy Awards. (see previous posts for more info if you need) The high was extreme and it was a wild and wonderful ride which has allowed me to receive invitations to the 2011 Emmy Awards, 2012 Grammy Awards, 2011 Billboard Awards & the 2012 Oscars. All of these invites have been received with a humble heart and with a cautious mind now that I have learned first hand that what goes up comes down equally far. At this point I should mention that blogspot's format is not allowing me to leave space between paragraphs. If you have any insight please let me know as it is more annoying to me than it is to you! Sorry. January, February & March were as I mentioned, wildly wonderfully but also wickedly wearing. I worked fast and hard for 3 months outside my comfort zone. I am not complaining I am just saying it was fast and furious and I have huge respect for what it has done for my business and myself; however, it also made for a few months of personal growth that was not for seen. March came and I was tired and overwhelmed. It took me through April, May, and June to recover from the highs and I even found myself in some shadowy lows. It was hard for me to recognize and make the connection between the hype of my business and the emotional exhaustion I was feeling but with the help of my Silver Fox and some peeps 'in the know', I was able to piece it all together and learn a whole lot about myself. Looking in the mirror and the rear view mirror can give someone a great deal of confidence and a whole pile of self realization. I have begun to realize that my life is much more enjoyable when I place boundaries on myself and others. I have said it before and it holds as true as ever that I am best when I only try two cross two things of my to-do list in a day. I am no super woman or 'supah mama' nor do I desire to rise to societies demands that achieve accolades. I am a one woman show with human abilities. I am beginning to find out what I am made of and it is solid, earthy wares that have allowed me to arrive at this place of absolution. I absolutely am not one who likes to feel the pressure of other people's expectations. Rule number one and the newest and most prized realization... I am not responsible for anyone else accept those whom I brought into the world. For them I gladly take ownership. All others must make themselves happy. Wow, sounds simple but certainly took me awhile to grasp this concept. Love & Light, t.