The Gratitude Process

There is not a day go by that we as humans, do not want for something. It is often a minor thing, like a hot cup of Chai. Yet, at times it can be something that would prove to be life changing. Normally, depending on the magnitude of the want, we either attend the craving by obtaining whatever it was that we wanted; however, the larger ‘wants’ seem to go unsatiated and we go on wishing for something to come or way or to happen for us.

Many people believe in positive visualization or they believe that somethings are just not attainable for them in this lifetime. There are a multitude of reasons why people settle for going without what they want. Often times, we feel that the dream is too big or that we are somehow undeserving. There are those that truly believe that they are just not ‘lucky’ enough to get what they want.

The truth is this; there is no luck. I love the Oprah quote,  “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.” I didn’t quite understand the quote at first. It took me a few weeks of processing and relating the quote to my personal experience before I was able to fully appreciate the logic. It goes without saying if you want to be a chef, you need to do the ground work and educate yourself on cooking. I get that. What took me time to grasp was how that logic applied to me.

I know plenty of people who honestly seem to have an easier ride in this life, than most. They ‘seem’ to have things and opportunities arrive at their door, seeking them out, instead of the other way around. I remember the day I sat down with one of those people and I basically interviewed them on how they managed to live and create what I can only label as a ‘charmed life.’ The answer I was given changed my life from that day forward. I took their words and advice and added some wisdom that I already had and I have employed them together, ever since. Have I lived a ‘charmed life’ as a result? Not necessarily. Do I feel that my well is full and that I am living a life that I adore and appreciate? Absolutely!

I refer to this process as the “Gratitude Process’:

There is no safe guarded secret or ancient recipe that I was given, rather, I was given a set of tools which serve me well. Do I always attract what I hope to? Not always and not exactly, but what I do attract is what is best for me and my journey at that point in my life. There is a great saying…”Thank goodness for unanswered prayers!” Sometimes what we think we want is not what will best serve our better good, and it turns out in the long run that we are grateful that what we prayed for did not find us.

The first piece of sage advice I was given was to remember that life is not perfect. Not everything will always look like we had hoped; however, if we stay true to the course, it is usually revealed that we received exactly what we needed at that time. We need to remember to go with the flow and to not get hung up on the plans we had made, rather, appreciate what we have at any given time.

The second tool that is absolutely essential to acknowledge is that if you are thinking it, you are feeding it energy, and that is where the beginning and ending of most everything starts… in your thoughts. For example, if you want a new bike, you need to start utilizing positive visualization. You need to imagine yourself at the store purchasing the bike you want. Then you need to imagine riding ‘your’ bike. Imagine how it feels under you. Picture yourself putting it away after a great ride. You truly need to experience having it in your mind.

Once you have accepted that although you wanted a blue bike, you just may have to settle with a red one. Once you have experienced the ‘feeling’ of owning it you then need to talk about it. Discuss with your friends your intentions of owning this bike. Tell them how you intend on paying for it, where your first ride is going to be and how excited you are about having it. Really by discussing it out loud, you are verbalizing it to the universe that you want this ‘thing’. You need to remember, that if you do not set your clear intention and let the universe know, how will the universe provide for you?

A major key to this powerful equation is that you need to be full of gratitude for what you do have. You cannot be hung up on not having this item that you want for. You need to first make peace with what you have has served you well and that if this other ‘want’ does not come to fruition, that you are equally at peace with that. By letting it go before you even have it is such an important part of obtaining what you want. If you were to get obsessed with the want, it will become a negative experience for you and you will end up surrounded by your own negative energy which will not only repel what you ‘want’ but also the people around you.

Finally, you need to go after what you want. You need to seek out whatever it is that you need to achieve in order to have the wanted thing. You need to do the preparation in order to be in a good place to receive the thing when it comes along. Preparation meets Opportunity. Be prepared. What I find incredibly beautiful about this step, is that half the time, you have done the preparation without even knowing it or you completed it years ago without giving it any thought how it would benefit you in your future!

So to recap; you want to accept that what you wish for may look different than what you think you want. You need to positively visualize and imagine what it will be like to have the think that you are after. You need to share your intentions with the universe so that the universe can help to provide you with what would be of service to you and finally you need to be absolutely grateful and humble for what you do have and you must accept that perhaps the thing you think you want, may not be in line with what is best for you at this time in your life. Once you have completed your preparation, you are ready to receive. That may sound like many steps, but I cannot explain to you, how easy this process is or how often it has worked for me personally.

To give you an idea of what I am talking about, here is a recent example of how ‘the process’ has served me.

Besides owning my own jewelry design company, I have otherwise been out of the work force for exactly 10 years. A whole decade has passed and I have not been on anyone else’s payroll, except my own. Ten years is a long time to be out of the work force. Things have changed in my previous field of work. I have spent that past decade having children and nurturing them into the school system where they are presently flourishing. I, on the other hand have been craving to wet my feet again and rejoin the work force in some capacity. I have been toying with the idea for about a year now.

Six months ago, I spoke about my intention to seek some sort of employment for the first time. Since then I have inquired a few times about a few different jobs but at the end of the day, their needs did not match up to my availability. I have school aged children. I need to be there to drop them off at school and there to pick them up after school. There are stat holidays, easter and spring breaks, and then of course the two months off each summer where they of course are 100% my priority. I kept thinking to myself that I would love to find a part time job, but I was very doubtful about someone hiring me with my limited availability.  Then of course there was is my need for financial benefit. Unless I feel like I am making decent money, why would I work somewhere part time? It would make no fiscal sense.

Fast forward to one month ago. I was sitting on my deck, designing jewelry when I remembered my ‘Gratitude Process’. I felt like kicking myself for taking so long to remember how important it is to me and how well it has served me over the years. I immediately put down what I was doing. I pulled out my yoga mat. I went through some poses and began to meditate. I focussed on the perfect job. I decided in that moment that I wanted to be someone’s ‘girl friday’, a professional assistant, an executive assistant with a strong personal assistant gear. I began to imagine how valuable I could be to the right person. I focussed on what I could do for someone, rather than what they could do for me. I considered the multifaceted nature of my experience and skill set and I imagined how beneficial that could be to someone. I made the decision right there that I was going to approach two different people that I knew and pitch them my offer to work for them. Both individuals I knew well and respected. I had also decided that I needed to know the person I was going to work for because I knew I only wanted to invest my time, energy and love into someone that I could sincerely care for. The first person I approached took no time to shut me down. They simply did not have the room on their payroll for anyone else at this point. So, I went to the second person on my list and they were gracious to hear me out. They were thoughtful while I pitched my idea and they actually were intrigued and agreed that at some point in the near future they would call on me and we could set up an arrangement. A month later and I had heard nothing from them. I took that as a time to let go and let the universe provide me if and when this ‘want’ was going to be in my best interest.

I had let the idea go last Saturday, and on this past Thursday is when I saw one of my friend’s twitter feeds. She was advertising that she needed a part time Executive Assistant who could also cross over into a little personal assistant work. I could not believe my eyes. There it was! Someone I knew, liked and respected, needing exactly what I want to do in the capacity in which I was available to do it. I applied right then and there. I heard from her the next day. We arranged to go for a walk to discuss the position and both of our different sets of needs. Today was the day we walked. I found her needs were within my realm of knowledge and my needs which were mostly about the time I needed to be with my children. On every count that I was concerned was going to put a wedge between me and this job, it actually was a none issue and in fact worked well with this person’s schedule. I could not believe my ears. The more this amazing women spoke about what her hopes were for the position the more excited I became. Right there in front of me was the person and the job I had been visualizing. Once again the ‘Gratitude Process’ worked. Again, it did not come to fruition in the way I had planned or in the timing I had originally wanted, but it arrived in it’s own divine timing.

As it turned out, I was one of a dozen different applicants, and I was told that I was one of a couple that were actually in the running for the job. Both the other applicants and I had a different set of skills, and what I thought was going to be hurting my cause actually helped me to get the job. My age… Forty years old and out of the work force for ten years… instead of seeing me as out of the work force, it was seen as ready for a challenge after a good rest. My age was seen as a mature and responsible person. The time off I needed was also time off that my new employer also needs. Money was not an issue and I feel fabulous and appreciated by my new salary.

You simply never know what is around the corner waiting for you. You never know how you or what you think are issues, will actually be perceived. Here I had this great
process and I spent 6 months forgetting about it. Then I allowed negative chat to enter my head which worked against me for another 6 months. Not until I remembered to value myself and all that I bring to the table, was the universe able to provide for me. Half of the experience that makes me valuable to this position are tools and experience I gained between 10 & 15 years ago. I was preparing for this job without even knowing it.

I cannot help but wonder what this new job will be preparing me for. I don’t know. What I do know is that I am excited to step out into this new chapter of my journey.
I can hardly wait for tomorrow to get here so that I can jump in with two feet and begin to hopefully inspire and to be inspired.

I encourage and invite you to give some thought to the process you evoke when you want something. Does it work for you? Do you have an ‘attitude of gratitude’?
Do you think that perhaps you have room in your repertoire to try out the ‘Gratitude Process’? I promise you that life feels lighter and brighter when you are thankful for what you have, where you are and who you are with.

Namaste,

Tiffany

My Evening With Oprah

A few days ago I had the chance of a lifetime to go and see my mentor/mother/sister/friend, Oprah. Like every woman in the building, I consider Oprah to be all of these things to me. I have been watching her since I was a child and as a motherless daughter, Oprah truly did mother me in many ways. She has unknowingly guided me throughout my life and has given me dozens of tools to use to navigate through this life.

Oprah has mentored me, spoken words that a sister would speak and she has been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember. Although I did not have the privilege to meet O in person, I did have a dear friend who did get to meet her, and that is close enough for me. Truly.

The evening consisted of 16,000 women and a few random men, getting together at Rogers Arena here in Vancouver. Everyone was dressed to the nines in honour of our Oprah. Although I drove downtown with a handful of lovely friends, I chose to purchase a single ticket. You see, I did not want to sit with anyone I knew. I didn't want to be tempted to talk to those around me. I wanted to savour every word Oprah spoke. I wanted to internalize each word. It turned out to be the perfect decision for me because I did hang on her every word and I am still in deep process- trying to make sense of her messages.

The evening began with her dear friend, and her fellow billionaire, Jimmy Pattison introducing a surprise guest who would then be introducing Oprah. It was none other than Stedman Graham. Oprah's life partner of 29 yrs. This was a huge deal as O does not like surprises, and also because Stedman has never stepped into Oprah's work life. So to have him there was such a great honour and privilege. He spoke from the heart and his speech was deep and meaningful and explained who Oprah was to him.

Oprah was hilarious when Stedman was speaking. I could see her off stage from my seat and could hear her telling Stedman to hurry up and get off the stage as his sweet introduction was lengthy and not with out reciting poetry, nonetheless. She was just like one of us and getting restless waiting to take her stage.

When O finally took the stage she was in a gorgeous gown, her hair swept off her face and she looked like she always has. Beautiful. I noticed and took in every square inch of her. From her thick mink eye lashes that she is know for, all the way down to the red soles of her shoes that she took off for the second half of her show. To know her is to know that she doesn't like to wear shoes when she doesn't need to. All of these little nuances that I knew about, tickled me.

Her presentation began with her humour. Expressing how cold Edmonton and Calgary had been and how happy she was to see the warm rain of Vancouver. She went on to ask us all the one question, her one reason for being with us, which was to make us inquire within ourselves, as to "Why Are You Here? What is your life's purpose?" Oprah acknowledged that we were all here in this building because we had answered "the call". The evening really was about her explaining her calling, her purpose and when she first answered the call and what it has meant to her in her lifetime to know her purpose.

The first hour of the presentation was filled with her prancing across the stage, speaking to the audience and even singing a quick hymn. She spoke of Gayle, Sherri & Andre. 3 very important people in her life and if you are an O admirer the way I am, you know exactly who those people are and the roles they play in her life. She spoke about her show, then and now. She spoke to her challenges, her homes across the world and she spoke to me.

It may sound airy fairy, but Oprah's words went from her mouth to my heart. I was grateful to not be sitting with those that know me because I was crying for a fair portion the time. I was just so moved to be in the same space with this woman who has meant so much to me. Yes, I know that I don't know her nor does she know me, but that does not mean she has not meant the world to my world.

Funny, a few weeks ago I had a friend who expressed that she wasn't going to see Oprah and would't be excited if she were going anyway, because it is not like she was going to be seeing her one on one or in an intimate setting.  Well, I have a different view on life obviously, and Oprah proved this friend of mine so wrong. There was such a think veil of intimacy that seeped deep into everyone's soul. You could just tell how moved everyone was. The emotion was palpable.

I had planned on writing about this experience earlier, but I am still deeply processing all that I took in. Considering Oprah did not speak to much that I hadn't heard from her before, I am surprised that I am still processing. But it is true what they say about timing, when you are ready to receive a message, you will hear it. It will find you. Timing is everything.

As my fortieth birthday nears, I have been evaluating and reevaluating who I am, who I want to be and what is my purpose. I was recently at one of my best friend's 40th birthday celebrations and the experience offered me more insight on some of the changes I want to make within myself. The event was gorgeous, my friends are gorgeous, and we all have so much to be grateful for in each other. But I am going on 40... I know there are ways for me to be a bigger blessing to my friends. I know I can be a better me. I know that I am growing and evolving and with that sometimes you have to open yourself up to change that you didn't see coming. Being open to the process as you process.

After an hour of Oprah speaking. She sat down with George Strombolopolous. There was a seating area at the back of the stage that moved forward when George took the stage with Oprah. George joined us all and went on to interview Oprah on what she had shared with us. He also went on to ask her interesting questions like "What do you think of Lance Armstrong." I was so proud of Oprah and grateful that she stayed in her grace and said "I think he is human and perfectly flawed. He was this great icon that took a great fall and because of this, he will be able to live a more authentic life. That's what I think of Lance Armstrong. I never wanted to apart of this witch hunt." George went on to ask her about her school and she didn't shy away from the abuse scandal. Oprah shared with us that seven of the girls from her school are living with her and Stedman while they are at university. She really let us 'in'. I love her for her candidness.

By the time it was time to say good-bye, I felt nourished, invested in, and grateful. I have had friends ask me about what my 'take aways' were, and I have to say that when she spoke to us about gratitude and writing down and speaking 5 things a day that we were grateful for that this practice will serve our life's purpose, was a great gift and another tool that will assist me in my life. That is one great take away. The other thing that was deeply moving for me was when she said "You are not your ancestors mistakes, you are your own future." This meaning that no matter what or how you came to be, regardless of who has hurt you or neglected you in your lifetime, you are not that mistake. You are not a victim when you are in the moment. You are here now and you are the choices you make." I know this to be true but to hear it from her lips to my ears was a powerful gift that I cannot explain.

As the lights came up, and the tears dried, women all around me were silent. There was no sound except that of shuffling feet. Everyone was in awe. The word reverence comes to mind. There were lots of smiling eyes and just a sense of universal gratitude. Oprah had spoken of her friends,
The Dalai Lama, Nelson Mandela, Deepak Chopra and more, and the same way you would leave their company with a deep sense that you have just been in the company of greatness, so were we as we left this stadium of like minded people that are the light and love of this world. To even recall the memory brings me to a humble place.

So the question remains, where do I go from here. I think I just sink deeper into my gratitude. I make the changes that I can see coming and I commit to be a truer version of myself. I take Oprah's words and slowly but steadily make them my mantra.

Hands down, this experience was in the top ten of my lifetime.

Life is good and we are our choices. What choices am I making? Are they serving me? That is how I go forward. I encourage you to ask yourself these questions. They are life changers.

love & light,

t.

Exhale.

On a morning like today when my family wakes up to the sound of birds singing in the forest behind our log home, accompanied by the sweet smell of the warm air and the sight of trees coming back to life- it is hard not to appreciate all that we have. I cannot begin this blog post any other way than to give thanks that Egypt has been heard and their president has stepped down. My father(in-law) was born in Egypt, and it was only a couple of years ago that he and his 'The Silver Fox's Mama returned there again for another visit, one last visit. Their pictures were amazing. I cannot help but be so heart broken for the pain and destruction that has occurred, but also so grateful that our immediate family is here, safe, together and whole. Godspeed to those in Cairo and to those with loved ones there. It is hard to think of anything more than the real issues of our day to day life. I had friend tell me yesterday that he has to fly to Bangkok today- as his father passed suddenly of a heart attack. My heart broke for him as he explained the situation to me, yet he himself was so strong and so stoic, it was a such a fantastic reminder that attitude and spirit are everything. My heart is with he and his beautiful wife and family. Now on to seemingly superficial excitement... I am going to be on Entertainment Tonight next week. I am very excited about it for sure. It is just hard to separate world chaos and a television show. I am very excited to be appearing on a show I love to watch. The opportunities that are attached to such an honour are overwhelming. So far, of all the media I have been working with, this is the one I am most excited about. I love that I will be sharing the segment with Karen Buder of Sugarlime Jewelry. I am not sure how she feels about it, but I do feel very excited anytime women are acknowledged. This past week has been monumental. I have been dealing with exciting stuff, and real stuff. I was on the cover of both local newspapers, I have had a family with the flu, recovering from a root canal, having to unclog a toilet (thank you 'B-Man' for shoving a compact down there) I filled the Thomas Haas order I had for custom Valentine's Day cards. They are now there and available for purchase. Yesterday was amazing, I shipped off my Oscar Jewels and they are on route. Relieved, honoured, humbled and amazed are a few of the emotions that came within the tidal wave of emotions that through me all over the tissue map yesterday. It has been a long month full of amazing moments, and my family has been amazing. My friends have championed my every success and I have been stunned by the response of strangers. I have tried to share this spot light with as many different women as I can. I have tried very hard to pay these opportunities I have been given, forward and I have learned a great deal about how guarded some people are about sharing success. It has been so interesting, and a lesson in trying to respect a behavior I do not understand. Prior to this Oscars excitement, I began this year with a commitment to get my whole self organized. My body, mind & spirit. My home, my routines, my systems. I knew this year was going to be a TSN Turning Point in my life, I just didn't for see how that was going to manifest. Now that I have a clue, I need to return to my mission and I have had the 'Aha' moment. I can't do it by myself. I need help. So I have enlisted a professional to help me. We all have our strengths and I have acknowledged that being an organized person is not mine. 2011 is the year that I find balance, simplicity and that I accept that my imperfections are a gift that allows me to better myself. Someone recently reminded me of one of my favorite quotes that has been quite obvious to me in the past month: "When you do what you love, the universe will rise up to meet you." - Oprah Love & Light, t.