My Evening With Oprah

A few days ago I had the chance of a lifetime to go and see my mentor/mother/sister/friend, Oprah. Like every woman in the building, I consider Oprah to be all of these things to me. I have been watching her since I was a child and as a motherless daughter, Oprah truly did mother me in many ways. She has unknowingly guided me throughout my life and has given me dozens of tools to use to navigate through this life.

Oprah has mentored me, spoken words that a sister would speak and she has been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember. Although I did not have the privilege to meet O in person, I did have a dear friend who did get to meet her, and that is close enough for me. Truly.

The evening consisted of 16,000 women and a few random men, getting together at Rogers Arena here in Vancouver. Everyone was dressed to the nines in honour of our Oprah. Although I drove downtown with a handful of lovely friends, I chose to purchase a single ticket. You see, I did not want to sit with anyone I knew. I didn't want to be tempted to talk to those around me. I wanted to savour every word Oprah spoke. I wanted to internalize each word. It turned out to be the perfect decision for me because I did hang on her every word and I am still in deep process- trying to make sense of her messages.

The evening began with her dear friend, and her fellow billionaire, Jimmy Pattison introducing a surprise guest who would then be introducing Oprah. It was none other than Stedman Graham. Oprah's life partner of 29 yrs. This was a huge deal as O does not like surprises, and also because Stedman has never stepped into Oprah's work life. So to have him there was such a great honour and privilege. He spoke from the heart and his speech was deep and meaningful and explained who Oprah was to him.

Oprah was hilarious when Stedman was speaking. I could see her off stage from my seat and could hear her telling Stedman to hurry up and get off the stage as his sweet introduction was lengthy and not with out reciting poetry, nonetheless. She was just like one of us and getting restless waiting to take her stage.

When O finally took the stage she was in a gorgeous gown, her hair swept off her face and she looked like she always has. Beautiful. I noticed and took in every square inch of her. From her thick mink eye lashes that she is know for, all the way down to the red soles of her shoes that she took off for the second half of her show. To know her is to know that she doesn't like to wear shoes when she doesn't need to. All of these little nuances that I knew about, tickled me.

Her presentation began with her humour. Expressing how cold Edmonton and Calgary had been and how happy she was to see the warm rain of Vancouver. She went on to ask us all the one question, her one reason for being with us, which was to make us inquire within ourselves, as to "Why Are You Here? What is your life's purpose?" Oprah acknowledged that we were all here in this building because we had answered "the call". The evening really was about her explaining her calling, her purpose and when she first answered the call and what it has meant to her in her lifetime to know her purpose.

The first hour of the presentation was filled with her prancing across the stage, speaking to the audience and even singing a quick hymn. She spoke of Gayle, Sherri & Andre. 3 very important people in her life and if you are an O admirer the way I am, you know exactly who those people are and the roles they play in her life. She spoke about her show, then and now. She spoke to her challenges, her homes across the world and she spoke to me.

It may sound airy fairy, but Oprah's words went from her mouth to my heart. I was grateful to not be sitting with those that know me because I was crying for a fair portion the time. I was just so moved to be in the same space with this woman who has meant so much to me. Yes, I know that I don't know her nor does she know me, but that does not mean she has not meant the world to my world.

Funny, a few weeks ago I had a friend who expressed that she wasn't going to see Oprah and would't be excited if she were going anyway, because it is not like she was going to be seeing her one on one or in an intimate setting.  Well, I have a different view on life obviously, and Oprah proved this friend of mine so wrong. There was such a think veil of intimacy that seeped deep into everyone's soul. You could just tell how moved everyone was. The emotion was palpable.

I had planned on writing about this experience earlier, but I am still deeply processing all that I took in. Considering Oprah did not speak to much that I hadn't heard from her before, I am surprised that I am still processing. But it is true what they say about timing, when you are ready to receive a message, you will hear it. It will find you. Timing is everything.

As my fortieth birthday nears, I have been evaluating and reevaluating who I am, who I want to be and what is my purpose. I was recently at one of my best friend's 40th birthday celebrations and the experience offered me more insight on some of the changes I want to make within myself. The event was gorgeous, my friends are gorgeous, and we all have so much to be grateful for in each other. But I am going on 40... I know there are ways for me to be a bigger blessing to my friends. I know I can be a better me. I know that I am growing and evolving and with that sometimes you have to open yourself up to change that you didn't see coming. Being open to the process as you process.

After an hour of Oprah speaking. She sat down with George Strombolopolous. There was a seating area at the back of the stage that moved forward when George took the stage with Oprah. George joined us all and went on to interview Oprah on what she had shared with us. He also went on to ask her interesting questions like "What do you think of Lance Armstrong." I was so proud of Oprah and grateful that she stayed in her grace and said "I think he is human and perfectly flawed. He was this great icon that took a great fall and because of this, he will be able to live a more authentic life. That's what I think of Lance Armstrong. I never wanted to apart of this witch hunt." George went on to ask her about her school and she didn't shy away from the abuse scandal. Oprah shared with us that seven of the girls from her school are living with her and Stedman while they are at university. She really let us 'in'. I love her for her candidness.

By the time it was time to say good-bye, I felt nourished, invested in, and grateful. I have had friends ask me about what my 'take aways' were, and I have to say that when she spoke to us about gratitude and writing down and speaking 5 things a day that we were grateful for that this practice will serve our life's purpose, was a great gift and another tool that will assist me in my life. That is one great take away. The other thing that was deeply moving for me was when she said "You are not your ancestors mistakes, you are your own future." This meaning that no matter what or how you came to be, regardless of who has hurt you or neglected you in your lifetime, you are not that mistake. You are not a victim when you are in the moment. You are here now and you are the choices you make." I know this to be true but to hear it from her lips to my ears was a powerful gift that I cannot explain.

As the lights came up, and the tears dried, women all around me were silent. There was no sound except that of shuffling feet. Everyone was in awe. The word reverence comes to mind. There were lots of smiling eyes and just a sense of universal gratitude. Oprah had spoken of her friends,
The Dalai Lama, Nelson Mandela, Deepak Chopra and more, and the same way you would leave their company with a deep sense that you have just been in the company of greatness, so were we as we left this stadium of like minded people that are the light and love of this world. To even recall the memory brings me to a humble place.

So the question remains, where do I go from here. I think I just sink deeper into my gratitude. I make the changes that I can see coming and I commit to be a truer version of myself. I take Oprah's words and slowly but steadily make them my mantra.

Hands down, this experience was in the top ten of my lifetime.

Life is good and we are our choices. What choices am I making? Are they serving me? That is how I go forward. I encourage you to ask yourself these questions. They are life changers.

love & light,

t.

Gratitude

September has come and gone. Indeed she followed through with her promise of routine and structure and has left in her wake a month of solid sunshine and warmth that has continued into this glorious October. I have refitted the house with autumn colours and have put away the ocean blue accent pillows for yet another year.

There is something sacred about the ritual of honouring the changing of seasons. It feels slightly tribal. I can find deeper meaning in anything, but when fall rolls around it seems that there is just more meaning in most things and it is easier to find depth in daily life. People slow down again, they stop longer to chat on the street, they pick up the phone and connect again with those that summer somehow kept from us.

There are so many things to be grateful for as we close in on the last few months of 2012. This year has been one of many blessings and many profoundly rich reasons to be humbled in gratitude. If you have read any of my previous blog entries you also know that this year has challenged my family at it's core.

In all of the many blessings and challenges, there is a common thread that binds us into the same boat of grace and gratitude and that, has been our family. Whether I look back at our time in Mexico this spring or fast forward to my nephews diagnosis in June... it is the family bond that has cradled our journey in both the bliss and the blinding reality of a life threatening illness. I am not sure that there is anything more beautiful than the love that comes from the deeply bound family unit that I come from.

Growing up I never felt those ties that bind, but this more than ever I feel them, I sew them and I absolutely tend to them. The past 12 months have brought my own immediate family closer and that of my siblings and I. Don't get me wrong, I have always been close to my siblings, but like I said, when you sit in wait, between life and death, your earth bound connections strengthen in a way that is indescribable. Life changes. Important things become more vital, small things cease to exist, the sky gets bigger and your words become kinder, and you somehow learn to be braver.

I am so grateful for all of the goodness that has come my way this year. I am also grateful for the lessons that have come from the more unfortunate occurrences, for those have taught me the most, and again, at the top of that particular list you will find Cancer. I have a couple of friends and my super, awesome, brave nephew that have been battling that bitch. (forgive my french) I have been watching even closer and have seen first hand what true bravery looks like, what real courages acts like and how true grace carries us when we allow it to.

It's no secret that I am turning forty next year. Growing up, I thought that I would have life figured out by now. Instead, what I now understand is that when people say take one day at a time, it really means that we are to slow down, breathe deeply, love unconditionally and live with passion. "Live each day to it's fullest" is not just some passe quote. It really holds value to our human existence. What I have finally figured out is that there is no figuring life out. It is what it is, and our journey will become what it will, in accordance to how we respond to life on a daily basis.

Everyday is a bounty of blessings if we will just allow ourselves the pleasure of seeing the bright side. It is so easy to find the faults and shortcomings that find us in a day. It is also even easier to choose to reside in the light of each moment that is ours to claim. I am not saying that life is rainbows and butterflies, I know better, I know it is also compromise and acceptance. I also know it is exactly what we make if it.

2012 was filled with beauty. As we approach Thanksgiving, I am profoundly grateful for the love and light that has found it's way into my heart by way of family and precious friendships and I wish the same love and light to find you and yours. I hope you have been as blessed as I, and that next Thanksgiving you will have even more in your heart to be grateful for.

Happy Thanksgiving!

In Gratitude,
t. xo

Squint Your Eyes And Look Closer...

Years ago I heard Ani Difranco sing 32 Flavours. The song resonated with me then and decades later it still speaks to me. So often we know someone for years and years and we have this virtual photograph of them in our mind. We think we know them, what they like, how they think and ultimately who they are as a person. In the past couple of years I have been having to ask people to take a new snapshot of who they think I am. We are all evolving and becoming who we are meant to be. For some people and myself included, trauma of some sort at an early age can paralyze our evolution and can change us from who we were meant to be to a slightly dimmer version of that.
With the right guidance and or therapy we can find our way back to the path that will return us to the journey we were born to live.


With every year that goes by we are all continually learning about ourselves and who we authentically are. It has been my experience that the older we get the easier it is to shift into and remain in the state of presence, where we function as our authentic selves. Largely due to the fact that the older we get the easier it is to find the confidence to fore go the  comfort of peer acceptance.


Recently, I found myself in the company of someone that I had labeled as 'superficial'. Now just to be clear, although I felt that way, I still valued the individual for being interesting, funny and charming. I appreciated the fact that this person was sweet, just not the person I would confide my deepest emotions in. I believe it takes all sorts of personalities to nurture the 32 Flavours in me. Everyone in our lives- feeds different parts of our spirit.


So here I am face to face with this person, and to say the least I was not in the mood to discuss the latest fashion find or place to be seen. I entered the conversation with my back up and my tolerance low. I think the phrase "Get me the f@#K outta here" crossed my mind. To my delight the conversation that I was dreading actually was a figment of my imagination. Shame on me for projecting my expectations on this person. In fact it had been several months since we had met up and it was clear to me that a massive shift in her had occurred. I had to step back and reenter the conversation. I had the biggest Aha! moment. I had to take a new snapshot of this old acquaintance. Just as I have had to ask people do for me. I needed to offer the same respect and allowance for this person's journey.


Looking at her again with fresh eyes it was clear to me that she too had changed at a cellular level. It brought me back to Ani's 32 Flavors which I have added below this post. "I am beyond your peripheral vision, so you might want to turn your head." I have been spending more time turning my head and seeing the bigger picture of this person and truly she is a beautiful spirit. I have to wonder how much of her I have been missing out on because I have had this old snapshot in my head which had been blocking my heart from reaching out to her.


With Christmas around the corner and the hustle and bustle that innately comes with the season, I am grateful for the reminder that each person who crosses our path deserves fresh eyes and an open heart. Having just celebrated Thanksgiving, I am more grateful than ever for having these life lessons sneak up on me when I have fallen asleep and fall back into the comfort of auto-pilot.


I will use my daily meditation to visualize open hearts connecting with white light- seems appropriate considering today is 'We Day'.


Love & Light,


Tiffany