Living As Your Authentic Self

It is with great excitement that I share with you, my first published article. I wrote last month and it has been a great experience working with new editors and writers. I hope you enjoy the article and that perhaps something within it resonates within you.

Enjoy:

Each year as October greets us with the promise of a new beginning in yet a new season–offering us another chance at creating positive changes and new routines–she also brings with her a reminder that we have but a couple months to wrap up the loose ends that are lingering around us, waiting to hold us back from finishing this calendar year with all of our goals accomplished.

October arrives out of nowhere and, before we have our flip flops put away, she demands that we pull out those cozy sweaters in preparation for the coming months that will inevitably find us preparing to cocoon our way through the fall and into the winter. Oftentimes we tend to withdraw from our social circles and adopt a more central focus as the dark months descend upon us.

This can be a time for managing those action items on our to-do lists that we have yet to see through to completion. It can be a time for setting our intentions for the coming year and deciding what we wish to manifest for ourselves in our lives. It can also be a time when we unintentionally allow ourselves to be burdened by our inner voice, reminding us of all that we have yet to accomplish.

Each year, we set forth with a list of good intentions that we convince ourselves will promote our higher well-being. For example, we decide that we are going to eat organic, that we are going to do more yoga and that we are going to connect more often with loved ones. The one thing we often forget to do, that would enable us to bring all of these wonderful goals into fruition, is commit ourselves to being truly authentic with ourselves at all times.

As a new year approaches, we create these goals that we believe are for the betterment of our lives and the lives of those around us, but we sometimes do so with judgement instead of self-compassion. We hold ourselves to these goals without an ounce of self-compassion, which is the worst thing we can do if we want to live as our authentic selves. The minute we find ourselves unable to meet a self-projected expectation, we harshly judge ourselves for not following through in that given moment. Instead, we should focus on being in the moment, acknowledging that for whatever reason we are unable to achieve our goals that day, and allowing ourselves the right to be human and to have an off-day. Often, when these types of situations arise, we tend to give up on that goal and chalk it up as a failure–chalk ourselves up as failures. As a result, we go forward not living up to our potential. All this because we did not honor the fact that we are exactly where we are meant to be right now, and we are always doing what we are meant to be doing in any given moment.

If we are going to live our best lives, and achieve great things for ourselves, we must first give ourselves permission to be in the present moment and to honor it despite it looking different than what we had originally visualized. We so easily get caught up in our to-do lists, and we forget to just "be." We need to allow ourselves the moments that we did not count on coming our way. Life is always full of surprises. Surprises that sometimes leave us feeling overwhelmed, bewildered and down. Human nature predicts that we will not prepare for these moments, regardless of if they arrive on our doorstep month after month or year after year. We only seem to plan for the easy, cheerful moments that nurture our spirit; rather than the ones that challenge our self-compassion.

As we head out of 2013, and embark on what is sure to be a blessed 2014, I encourage you to be gentle with yourself. Move forward with the intention of completing the goals that you set for yourself in 2013, but work to accept the fact that a few of those items may be carried over to 2014. Acknowledge that some of these goals, that you will carry forward with you, are in fact worthy of a little more effort. Treat them with the respect that they deserve–the respect that you deserve.

We all have a reel of "negative speak" that runs inside our heads. It has a mind of its own and it plays on repeat when we need it the least. I hope that one of your goals for the coming year is to hit the delete button on that recording. That once and for all, you become conscious of the havoc it plays on your ability to be kind to yourself. I hope that you learn that hitting the delete button will allow you to achieve your dreams and to live as your most authentic self.

My wish for you as you embark on the next leg of your amazing journey in 2014 is that, when that reel of negative self talk begins to run inside of your head, you THINK. That you ask yourself the following questions with love and compassion:

T - is it true?

H - is it helpful? 

I - is it inspiring?

N - is it necessary?

K - is it kind?

Wishing you light and love in a world where your beauty shines.

love & light,

t.

'Tis The Season...

As I sit here and type this by the warmth of the fire and with Christmas lights shining on, there is no doubt that I am blessed. I try to live a life of gratitude everyday, but this time of year offers many shocking reminders of just how blessed you and I are.

With the ostentatious nature of the consumerism that so many of us fall into at this time of year, I find it more important than ever to remember those who are less fortunate and unable to partake in the kind of holiday season that they would like to. I am guilty as charged. I am a consumer at this time of year. I cannot imagine not being in a position to give my children the kind of Christmas that all children deserve. Perhaps this is why I fall victim to the consumerism this time of year. I do try to balance the gifts we give our kids equally with merry experiences also, it can be challenging not to over do the presents and beautifully wrapped gifts under the tree.

This year along with several friends and different families, we are sponsoring a few local families that are on hard times. It brings home that sense of community and brings to life the true meaning of Christmas. It is hard to think of our own neighbours in need, but the reality is that it is a neighbour in need and it could just as easily be ourselves one day. There are great teachable moments in lending an anonymous hand to those who need it. Our children are listening and watching, learning that this is how a healthy community functions, and that you give what you can, when you need to.

Today we took our children on the Bright Lights Christmas Train at Stanley Park. The Silver Fox and I surprised the kids and they were delighted by the gorgeous displays of lights and holiday cheer. They were innocently unaware of the huge expense that came along with that experience, but we work hard to afford such luxuries for our family. The heart wrenching part comes when you realize what we spent on that experience could have fed a family at Christmas. This is where the fine balance enters the picture. Where you realize that you do what you can for others with what you have and sacrifice where you need to and still be able to afford such sacred experiences with your own family.

So we took the kids to the train and we skipped the sushi dinner out afterwards. It was our compromise. The money we would have spent on the Sushi dinner for four, we instead have set aside to donate to the North Shore Family Services. It was another great lesson for our kids, and a way to teach them how you can be a good neighbour and live your life in a brilliant way.

We are fortunate in that between the Silver Fox and I  we both know how it feels to have enough and to need. It makes giving that much easier, especially at this time of year. For myself, growing up with a feeling of need sometimes, it has helped me to realize one of the greatest lessons of my life, which is that the gift is always in the giving. My favorite part of Christmas is giving. I love knowing and feeling the joy that someone else is experiencing. I love that.

Recently, a group of people, some I know and some I do not, have come together for 31 days of random acts of kindness. As I have said, I try to live a life of gratitude daily and random acts of kindness plays a big part in that, but to come together with others to spread joy and love like this with the intention of sharing them and inspiring one another, it takes it to another level where the acts become more sought after and deliberate.

I won't go into the acts of random kindness that we have done, given and achieved, that is not as important as the invitation for you to join us. Start tomorrow. It is as easy as giving someone the parking spot you are both after, or letting that elderly person behind you in line, go first. It can also be as grand as giving to the food bank or buying a meal for a person who appears to be in need. You can decide, but I encourage you to join us and for no other reason than it feels good and because you can.

They always say Tis the season... to be jolly? I think not. I think it Tis the season to reach out and give someone the gift of your cheer and generosity at what can be a challenging time of year for so many of us. I know many of us are generous all year long. We give to charities, we ride for cancer, we put ourselves in harms way for the greater good of another... again, all things we do for the greater good, but this Christmas, lets go that extra mile in honour of humanity and the beauty that lies in the loving of another.

Love & Light and a very Merry Christmas. As this is Hanukkah's first night, Happy Hanukkah!

xo t.

Kindness Is Contagious.

The human spirit is a beautiful thing. Where I was expecting to go into great detail of the amazing opportunities that have come my way in the past 24 hours, after sitting down and meditating today (I practice T.M.) it dawned on me that the real story worth sharing tonight is the experience I have had witnessing first hand, the capacity of beauty our human spirit is capable of bestowing upon one another, friend to friend, stranger to stranger and watching strangers transform into friends. It is not that I wasn't aware that what goes around comes around, and what you reap you sow; however, watching how completely contagious a gesture of kindness is and how widespread and immediate it's ripple effect is has left me speechless.

For as exciting as it has been to have this week's incredible Academy Awards opportunity and the many other doors open up for me as a result, I think it is important, at least for myself to stop and absorb the fact that I now know for certain that showing love and kindness to a single person that crosses your path in any given day will affect hundreds of people. In a society where we are constantly bombarded with negativity in news reports about what some unsavoury people are doing to one another and to innocent bystanders,it is comforting to know that each of us can offer an action that can work towards balancing that negative energy.

Now,I know some of you have been pestering me today to share some details on the latest happenings for Buddha & The Raven.For those of you who are interested in hearing about it, I will quickly say that Tuesday morning I am meeting a report & her team of photographer, videographer and lighting peeps at our showroom for my first on camera interview. I am really excited about it, and really a bit nervous. The fun part of this is that because of the on camera work that is on the horizon, I have been in touch with the amazing Vancouver make-up artist Ariell Paterson, whose work is absolutely phenomenal. I have seen her work on models, brides, and everyday people like me. I have had the pleasure of working with her personally and am always thoroughly impressed with her talent and professionalism. My past experiences working with Ariell has given me great confidence in her and I feel like I am doing all of you a favour by even telling you about her.It kind of feels like telling someone the name of your favorite babysitter...all of you moms out there know how taboo that is...you never tell someone about a great babysitter otherwise they get too popular and are never available for you when you need them! In this case I feel good about referring Ariell to anyone that has an occasion when they just want to look their best and need a little help.Just don't say I've never done anything for you! ;)

And now am thrilled to say I am taking the next few days to step away from all of this excitement... this girl needs to take a deep breath and process what the next several weeks are going to entail. I am off to hunker down with 'Big City', 'The Princess' and 'The Bean' and a couple of other bff's for some good ole' girl time. I have to laugh though... it doesn't seem like that long ago that when we would get together we would dine out, maybe go dancing, at worst host a party and get our 'wine' on that would inevitably turn into all of us girls singing Lady Gaga into our thumbs and dancing in our p.j's.( okay pretend you don't do that with your friends...don't judge!) LOL ... but these past few years our ideal of good quality girl time looks more and more like an episode of the Golden Girls! We keep the circle tight, we all cook together and although there might be some wine involved, without fail the evening ends before 11pm and usually with a cup of tea while we are all sit around in our flannel jammies, no make up on with half assed ponytails on our head. I am laughing out loud right now because you know you are amongst your 'besties' when the thought of a cuppa tea and flannel equates one of my favorite things to do. Getting your 'evening ugly' on and feeling comfortable in the presence of someone other than your husband is just one of the best feelings ever.

The only thing better than some girl time is having a loving, supportive husband who creates the opportunity for me to sneak away and to make this happen. The 'Silver Fox' is such a star that way and he loves having one on one time with 'Miss. B.' and 'The B. Man'. As I begin to feel pangs of guilt in leaving them for a day or two I have to remind myself that it is also giving them a gift by allowing them to find their own rhythm together without the mama bear in me always being in the mix... we all need balance. Balance is good. Balance is good.

B a l a n c e i s g o o d .

love & light,

t.