'Tis The Season...

As I sit here and type this by the warmth of the fire and with Christmas lights shining on, there is no doubt that I am blessed. I try to live a life of gratitude everyday, but this time of year offers many shocking reminders of just how blessed you and I are.

With the ostentatious nature of the consumerism that so many of us fall into at this time of year, I find it more important than ever to remember those who are less fortunate and unable to partake in the kind of holiday season that they would like to. I am guilty as charged. I am a consumer at this time of year. I cannot imagine not being in a position to give my children the kind of Christmas that all children deserve. Perhaps this is why I fall victim to the consumerism this time of year. I do try to balance the gifts we give our kids equally with merry experiences also, it can be challenging not to over do the presents and beautifully wrapped gifts under the tree.

This year along with several friends and different families, we are sponsoring a few local families that are on hard times. It brings home that sense of community and brings to life the true meaning of Christmas. It is hard to think of our own neighbours in need, but the reality is that it is a neighbour in need and it could just as easily be ourselves one day. There are great teachable moments in lending an anonymous hand to those who need it. Our children are listening and watching, learning that this is how a healthy community functions, and that you give what you can, when you need to.

Today we took our children on the Bright Lights Christmas Train at Stanley Park. The Silver Fox and I surprised the kids and they were delighted by the gorgeous displays of lights and holiday cheer. They were innocently unaware of the huge expense that came along with that experience, but we work hard to afford such luxuries for our family. The heart wrenching part comes when you realize what we spent on that experience could have fed a family at Christmas. This is where the fine balance enters the picture. Where you realize that you do what you can for others with what you have and sacrifice where you need to and still be able to afford such sacred experiences with your own family.

So we took the kids to the train and we skipped the sushi dinner out afterwards. It was our compromise. The money we would have spent on the Sushi dinner for four, we instead have set aside to donate to the North Shore Family Services. It was another great lesson for our kids, and a way to teach them how you can be a good neighbour and live your life in a brilliant way.

We are fortunate in that between the Silver Fox and I  we both know how it feels to have enough and to need. It makes giving that much easier, especially at this time of year. For myself, growing up with a feeling of need sometimes, it has helped me to realize one of the greatest lessons of my life, which is that the gift is always in the giving. My favorite part of Christmas is giving. I love knowing and feeling the joy that someone else is experiencing. I love that.

Recently, a group of people, some I know and some I do not, have come together for 31 days of random acts of kindness. As I have said, I try to live a life of gratitude daily and random acts of kindness plays a big part in that, but to come together with others to spread joy and love like this with the intention of sharing them and inspiring one another, it takes it to another level where the acts become more sought after and deliberate.

I won't go into the acts of random kindness that we have done, given and achieved, that is not as important as the invitation for you to join us. Start tomorrow. It is as easy as giving someone the parking spot you are both after, or letting that elderly person behind you in line, go first. It can also be as grand as giving to the food bank or buying a meal for a person who appears to be in need. You can decide, but I encourage you to join us and for no other reason than it feels good and because you can.

They always say Tis the season... to be jolly? I think not. I think it Tis the season to reach out and give someone the gift of your cheer and generosity at what can be a challenging time of year for so many of us. I know many of us are generous all year long. We give to charities, we ride for cancer, we put ourselves in harms way for the greater good of another... again, all things we do for the greater good, but this Christmas, lets go that extra mile in honour of humanity and the beauty that lies in the loving of another.

Love & Light and a very Merry Christmas. As this is Hanukkah's first night, Happy Hanukkah!

xo t.

A Ray of Sunshine on a Gloomy Day

As I eluded to in my previous blog post, our family has recently been dealt a low blow. One of our youngest members has been diagnosed with cancer. I explain to everyone as it being the same cancer that Terry Fox had.You would naturally go to that place of deep regret and despair, and where we have all experienced those very feelings and reactions, I have to convey too,  the deep beauty that has also found us.

To begin, I should mention that I have shaved my head as a sign of solidarity in this fight against cancer. I actually did it simply to make my nephew smile, and that it did. The other thing that has come as a result of my hairless head is the fact that it has raised awareness of my family's situation, in my own community. I have had people that I barely know approach me, inquiring whether or not I have cancer. When they learn that it is a young boy, they are eager to hear details and developments regarding his treatment. All of which I am grateful for. As far as I am concerned the more people I can have sending my nephew positive thoughts and white light, the better for all of us.

What I did not count on however is what happened last Wednesday. I was standing outside my daughters school waiting for her to be dismissed on what was the last day of the school year. This woman I have seen before and briefly said hello to once or twice, approached me. She had heard about my family's struggle and was inquiring about what kind of cancer my nephew had. When I told her it was a sarcoma, she tilted her head and smiled. What came next took me down at my knees and once again made me believe in guardian angels. She said to me in the most beautiful and gentle voice, " My husband, Torsten Neilsen, is one of the world's leading specialists in Sarcomas and works here in Vancouver. If he can be of any assistance to your family byway of advice or second opinions, please call on him. I know he would be happy to help you."

As I write this, it brings tears to my eyes. Could you imagine if I had not shaved my head and not inspired this woman to approach me, what kind of loss that would be. It makes it all the sweeter. We would not have the guidance of this world renowned specialist in our  back pocket. I am just so grateful and in awe of she and her family's sweet offer. I have already put her in touch with my brother and they have embarked on what will prove to be a very unique relationship.

The second scene of beauty that happened yesterday happened solely over email but was years in the making. This is really my brother's story to tell but he is always willing to share his life when it is as serendipitous as this. So, about 5 years ago my brother was doing some life coaching. After serving 25 years on the police force and finishing his career in the Tactical Unit, he was preparing for his retirement by going back to Royal Roads University and studying to become a teacher. Life coaching found him and he in turn found himself coaching a wide range of individuals on wide spectrum of subjects.

Fast forward to yesterday: my brother was at his computer when a message showed up in his inbox. The email was from a former client that he had coached. Her name is Judith and she had heard that my brothers son is ill with osteosarcoma. She wanted to extend her thoughts and prayers and to share with my brother how deeply she understood what he was going through and that he could count on her to 'coach' him through this coming months of unknowns and trials. This amazingly lovely woman was reaching out to him to dismiss whatever stress and heaviness she could in the way that she knew she could. It is a testament to the natural ebb and flow of life. When we give with love and care, we can count on receiving love and care. We do not always know in what form or which direction it will arrive from, but what goes around comes around and this lovely lady was giving back in the way that she could.

It is the next part of the email that rocked me to my core. Judith went on to explain how she knew so much about osteosarcoma. She signed off with a beautiful comment about her late brother who bravely fought the disease. (get ready for it)  ... her brother Terry, Terry Fox. In our family Terry Fox has always been all of our hero, so to have one of his immediate family members come to us with love and support has meant the world to us. More than anyone could ever know.

Again, it just goes to show you, that you never know who or when you will touch someone's life and when or if they will have the chance to repay your love and thoughtfulness. It makes me feel like I want to go into the world with softer words and kinder thoughts at all costs... you just never know what someone is going through. What they have lost, loved or fought. We all have a story and many times the scars to prove it. What I want to emphasize most though, is that we also all have beauty in our lives, even in these times when shadows are also at play. Beauty is where you find it and many times it is found in the space where you least expect it. God Bless Judith and her family and Torsten and his.

Wishing you a beautiful day.

xo t.