Living As Your Authentic Self

It is with great excitement that I share with you, my first published article. I wrote last month and it has been a great experience working with new editors and writers. I hope you enjoy the article and that perhaps something within it resonates within you.

Enjoy:

Each year as October greets us with the promise of a new beginning in yet a new season–offering us another chance at creating positive changes and new routines–she also brings with her a reminder that we have but a couple months to wrap up the loose ends that are lingering around us, waiting to hold us back from finishing this calendar year with all of our goals accomplished.

October arrives out of nowhere and, before we have our flip flops put away, she demands that we pull out those cozy sweaters in preparation for the coming months that will inevitably find us preparing to cocoon our way through the fall and into the winter. Oftentimes we tend to withdraw from our social circles and adopt a more central focus as the dark months descend upon us.

This can be a time for managing those action items on our to-do lists that we have yet to see through to completion. It can be a time for setting our intentions for the coming year and deciding what we wish to manifest for ourselves in our lives. It can also be a time when we unintentionally allow ourselves to be burdened by our inner voice, reminding us of all that we have yet to accomplish.

Each year, we set forth with a list of good intentions that we convince ourselves will promote our higher well-being. For example, we decide that we are going to eat organic, that we are going to do more yoga and that we are going to connect more often with loved ones. The one thing we often forget to do, that would enable us to bring all of these wonderful goals into fruition, is commit ourselves to being truly authentic with ourselves at all times.

As a new year approaches, we create these goals that we believe are for the betterment of our lives and the lives of those around us, but we sometimes do so with judgement instead of self-compassion. We hold ourselves to these goals without an ounce of self-compassion, which is the worst thing we can do if we want to live as our authentic selves. The minute we find ourselves unable to meet a self-projected expectation, we harshly judge ourselves for not following through in that given moment. Instead, we should focus on being in the moment, acknowledging that for whatever reason we are unable to achieve our goals that day, and allowing ourselves the right to be human and to have an off-day. Often, when these types of situations arise, we tend to give up on that goal and chalk it up as a failure–chalk ourselves up as failures. As a result, we go forward not living up to our potential. All this because we did not honor the fact that we are exactly where we are meant to be right now, and we are always doing what we are meant to be doing in any given moment.

If we are going to live our best lives, and achieve great things for ourselves, we must first give ourselves permission to be in the present moment and to honor it despite it looking different than what we had originally visualized. We so easily get caught up in our to-do lists, and we forget to just "be." We need to allow ourselves the moments that we did not count on coming our way. Life is always full of surprises. Surprises that sometimes leave us feeling overwhelmed, bewildered and down. Human nature predicts that we will not prepare for these moments, regardless of if they arrive on our doorstep month after month or year after year. We only seem to plan for the easy, cheerful moments that nurture our spirit; rather than the ones that challenge our self-compassion.

As we head out of 2013, and embark on what is sure to be a blessed 2014, I encourage you to be gentle with yourself. Move forward with the intention of completing the goals that you set for yourself in 2013, but work to accept the fact that a few of those items may be carried over to 2014. Acknowledge that some of these goals, that you will carry forward with you, are in fact worthy of a little more effort. Treat them with the respect that they deserve–the respect that you deserve.

We all have a reel of "negative speak" that runs inside our heads. It has a mind of its own and it plays on repeat when we need it the least. I hope that one of your goals for the coming year is to hit the delete button on that recording. That once and for all, you become conscious of the havoc it plays on your ability to be kind to yourself. I hope that you learn that hitting the delete button will allow you to achieve your dreams and to live as your most authentic self.

My wish for you as you embark on the next leg of your amazing journey in 2014 is that, when that reel of negative self talk begins to run inside of your head, you THINK. That you ask yourself the following questions with love and compassion:

T - is it true?

H - is it helpful? 

I - is it inspiring?

N - is it necessary?

K - is it kind?

Wishing you light and love in a world where your beauty shines.

love & light,

t.

The Lotus Is Stunning- Despite Growing In The Mud.

If you follow my blog you will know that I have used a similar title before. I have recently spent a great deal of time reading up and learning about the lotus flower and I have been amazed at just how spectacularly beautiful they are despite growing from the thickest mud around. Not only do they grow in mud but they are so beautiful and healthy because they grow in mud. I have spent my fair share of time in hospitals, whether it has been from visiting them personally or visiting other patients or from my time spent volunteering. I have seen some incredibly beautiful things in that time. I have seen some breathtaking moments that would have not otherwise happened had it not been for the often unfortunate reason for being at the hospital. (New Babies are exempt in from this example!) Even in the darkest of places where the shadows reside, they are not powerful enough to keep the light out. In some of the darkest situations I have witnessed such pure beauty that it actually defies the laws of darkness. It is such a beautiful reminder that it is absolutely true, the Lotus grows so beautifully because of that deep, thick, black mud, not just despite it. I have been candid in my blog posts and I am happy to put myself out there in a way that makes people think and question their own self truths. I have told you about my childhood, my teens and early twenties. I did well on my own despite the situations. I trusted myself and I counted on myself in a way that never caused anyone to ever 'worry' about me. I have somehow in life equated other people 'worrying' about me as some sort of personal failure. I have unfortunately taken that trait and brought it into my adulthood and allowed it to flourish. I recently learned that it is okay to 'worry' about each other, meaning that it is okay to have friends 'worry' about me. It may sound like a small, insignificant realization but it is actually monumental. It actually is a door to healing apart of myself that has been put away and hidden as a weakness when really the only weakness in that is the one that takes away the opportunity for friends to support you/me and the gift that is in that giving. I have been known to be of a very generous nature but have recently been outed as a 'greedy giver', meaning that I don't allow others to easily give to me. My lesson for June 2011 is to allow others to be there for me and to allow them to gift me with their worry and love. It is my lesson to learn to accept without discrediting their gift by feeling guilty for it. I wonder how many of my readers have the same issue... the greedy givers... I would love to hear from you and hear how you deal with it. This month marks a new chapter in my life. Life before June 2011 and life after. I will go into more detail as the journey unfolds. For now I will sign off and remind you to look around you and reach out to those friends you haven't heard from in a while. Go knock on their door... you never know how bright you can make someone's day and how your gift of presence is a bigger gift than you might imagine. Love & Light, t. ps- we were invited to do the 63rd Emmy Award Gift Bags yesterday!!!!